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Picnic and....

Posted: 12-05-2008 15:29:29
....balloons.

What a great weekend, went down south to see the lady friend and the weather was fantastic! We and some friends were very classy and had a picnic on rugs as we watched hot air balloons take off. Doesnt really get much nicer than that i have to say. Although i dont fancy one of those balloons much, when they turn those burner things off its far too quiet for my liking!

This country....

Posted: 09-05-2008 16:44:42
....is a bloody joke.

Just been to the petrol station and the price of fuel is ridiculous. It cost me £45 to fill up my mini with a quarter of a tank still in it. It jumped up a penny from when i went past the petrol station at 2pm to now at 4:30. I know were supposed to be saving the earth but surely some compromise can be reached, then as i sat here paying my car tax, another £210 i was thinking what has our socialist minded labour government actually done to help the great and the good of our economically raped country?

Come the revolution.

Balls to the....

Posted: 02-05-2008 09:49:20
....the man of steel.

It really is all about IronMan. Went to see the previews yesterday with some friends and i have to say it was some great super hero, zero thinking special effects greatness. It had a ridiculous initial 30 mins but i really enjoyed it and although it was quite lengthy i wasnt wanting to leave like with the latest superman film. definitely worth a look if you want an injection of Hollywood stupidness. Also they even made the leading lady Gwenth Paltrow look absolutely gorgeous, not a patch on my delightful girlfriend but she scrubbed up well.

Off to the south west again this weekend, chaperoning my sister who is modelling clothes designs of a friend. Dead good stuff its going to graduate fashion week too, should be a good laugh anyway. Have a good extended weeeeeeekend all (see what i did here?)

Baxter....

Posted: 29-04-2008 14:44:38
....you know i dont speak Spanish.

I went to my local co-op yesterday to get some milk and bread, walked in and saw this woman holding a dog by its collar outside. Thought nothing of it and got my stuff, whilst at the till the women went behind the till and got some rope and tied it to the dogs collar. The dog was a boarder terrier, the same breed as my family dog, so i stopped and gave it some fuss. I was then passed this rope and the women literally ran off and left me with this dog.

I tried phoning the number on its collar but no answer, so i started walking down the road it had apparently come from, i asked this woman who was walking her dog if she knew the dog or its owner, luckily she did so we walked down to find his owner looking for him. He was most grateful of returning Baxter his boarder terrier. I felt all good about myself too.

Oi, what you....

Posted: 25-04-2008 13:44:49
....shaking your haribo at!?

Dispatches, i love that programme, its great. Designed to get you all wound up and opinionated and it bloody works with me too. I know its doing it but i love shouting at the tele when its on and last nights was no exception.

Baby Fight Club was about the Thai boxing community in the UK and how children as young as 5 are learning the skill, then fighting at amateur level. The programme focused of a few stories, one whos mum seemed to be making up for having no father figure around for her boy Conner, who said 'I want a £10 million pound house and a pen for my dogs and cars and stuff'. Ahh, how refreshing it is that youngsters have such healthy goals. Another father from our very own sunny brum who was simply living through his son at one point said, 'when he fights its like im fighting, when he gets hurt its like i do.' what a lovely father and son story. Freud would have had a field day.

A time to be....

Posted: 23-04-2008 19:20:12
....patriotic.

Happy St Georges Day one and all. Someone once told me that old George was actually Turkish, not sure to what extent this is true but for the sake of today its is utter twiddle.

Selling....

Posted: 21-04-2008 08:23:24
....nightmare.

Im a common user of eBay, but recently im seriously doubting its integrity. Ive tried to sell a mobile phone through the site five times now. Every time some dodgy git wins the item with someone elses account that they’ve broke into. Straight away my details are sent to these thieving ba%^&*ds and I wonder if they do anything with it? So be warned and eBay, sort out your security.

A game for gentlemen....

Posted: 14-04-2008 13:56:52
....continued.

Carrying on from my recently voiced disgust at some football players i was considerably upset to see Steven Gerrard, a player i consider to be true and just there to play the game, diving around like a over paid, over dramatic dick to try and get a penalty. Sort it out Stevie, your better than that
.

A game for gentlemen....

Posted: 11-04-2008 10:43:34
....played by hooligans.

I went to watch some of my mates play football last night for their pub team. Its a decent standard but the state of play was horrendous. There was a fight to which one of the opposition was sent off and their captain who looked to be in his mid thirties squared up to the youngest player on the pitch, it was quite pathetic. Number 10 we salute you as being tosser of the week. I put it down to them being very poor losers as the mighty Middleton went on to thump them from 2-0 down to win 5-3.

Cant we all....

Posted: 08-04-2008 17:18:09
....just get along.

I was watching a dispatches programme last night about immigration. It was quite sensationalist and i did on two occasions find myself shouting at the TV in the hope i would be heard. I find it quite ridiculous that second and third generation immigrants born in the UK feel it acceptable to complain about the current influx of immigrants into this country and can justify giving them a hard time. They should talk to their parents and grand parents about the difficulties they had in intergrating and maybe their tune would be changed. While the arguement about immigration is a complex one, nothing rewards like diversity.

Just thought id have a moment of being a bit opinionated.

A mint and....

Posted: 03-04-2008 13:59:16
....a car.

The new Volkswagen Polo advert is good but it does concern me a little. The dog looks very upset in it, my dog does the same thing but only when we are al shouting at each other or shouting at him.

Everyones....

Posted: 31-03-2008 10:18:51
...ill

As well as Ed being in the hospital my good friend Nicky is recovering from the major surgery he had last week. Hes at the second stage of a three stage process to completely remove and replace his bowl, its bloody serious. Went to see him on Saturday evening and he was going cold turkey from the masses of morphine he'd been having for the last 3 days, he looked ok but i tell his conversation skills were lacking. Honestly mate its been nearly a week now, youve milked it enough, get back to work.

Im getting....

Posted: 25-03-2008 18:16:47
....fat.

Had a lovely long Easter weekend my brother had his birthday and food and drink was enjoyed by all. I weighed myself today though and im 14.5 stone. There is no real change in how i look, ive not developed some huge belly, but i cant seem to understand where a stone has come from??

Perhaps its age creeping up on me.

We cant...

Posted: 20-03-2008 18:30:52
....go anywhere.

Well enjoy the long weekend everyone. Not that our fabulous transport network wont let each and everyone of us down in its own special way.

Im not that grumpy, honestly.

Happy Easter everyone...

Posted: 20-03-2008 17:00:03
.... yep, that's it.

Miss....

Posted: 17-03-2008 17:09:36
....direction.

Had a lovely weekend with the girls, showed them the delights of Birmingham. It only when people say you realise what a great city it is.

It was quite entertaining getting them to my place on Friday evening though. Two of them didnt come off the M6 and only when they had a call from me and told me they were nearly in Telford did they turn around. The other two missed the junction i suggested and went further up to come into Walsall from junction 10 instead of 7. All funny stuff though and a well deserved fish and chips supper followed.

Just call me the....

Posted: 14-03-2008 13:59:07
....ladies man.

Amongst other activities this weekend ive got my girlfriend plus three of her mates staying with me. There very hospitable when i go down so i saw it as only right to return the favour. Its Paddys day on Sunday so im showing them how the celebrations are done digbeth style.

A flat full of women, sounds bloddy great. From now on i will only respond to my new name of "LL (ladies love) COOL TOMO", Hell yeah!

Have a good weekend one and all.

A fine....

Posted: 11-03-2008 16:59:41
....20 seconds.

The introductory 20 seconds of this track along with the rest of it is brilliant, although its starting to get killed by the DJs its deserves recognition.

Sam Sparro - Black and Gold

Cooking on....

Posted: 10-03-2008 12:42:09
....a budget.

This weekend me and my girlfriend have been cooking up a storm i must say. Following a student cook book recipe, low funds and our limited creative flare we managed to create some pretty bob on dishes over the weekend. These included a sausage and mustard casserole, rosemary lamb shanks and homemade meatballs with tomato and pepper bake. My particular favourite was the meatballs, very simple and some good eating.

Its not just....

Posted: 07-03-2008 17:28:41
....cooking.

What to do, your going to a party and the theme is tin foil, what the hell does that mean. I have toyed with idea of going in various tin foil items of clothing, but thats easily a chafe factor of 10!

Other plans for the weekend are yet to be arranged so will see what the coming days bring.

Green....

Posted: 06-03-2008 16:10:09
....fingers.

I planted a tree yesterday. I am very proud of my tree and i recommend you all plant one.

3 is better....

Posted: 03-03-2008 21:45:07
....than 2.

For passing his school exams and doing bloody well, my brother was rightfully treated at the weekend. This i have absolutely no problem with apart from the fact he had a Playstation 3. He could have had anything else but no a Playstation 3 and then the little terror goes and gets a game i have no interest in at all, the bloody cheek. Using his head there though, if he had brought back anything remotely gun or car related he knew he wouldnt get a look in.

Smart cookie is my brother!

Far from....

Posted: 28-02-2008 19:20:28
....Bart Simpson.

I had my first Michelin starred meal last night at Simpsons in town. I have to say it was face achingly good. Right down to the bread they serve and French butter that would make you face melt. To start I had frois grais ravioli and for main, rare venison with curly cayle and pear.

In the words of Jeremy Clarkson it was EPIC.

The price of....

Posted: 27-02-2008 08:40:58
....coffee.

Its a joke, normally i tend not to drink coffee but i got a take away cup this morning and it was £1.20, this may be cheap compared to Starbucks etc but this was in a shite polystyrene cup with about two thimbles full of coffee. All in all i feel a bad purchase.

Massive congratulations to Sadie and Mark on the news of a baby loaf on the horizon.

I havnt cooked....

Posted: 25-02-2008 13:08:56
....all weekend.

I like cooking but it dawned on me this morning i havnt cooked since last Thursday. This is mainly through blagging dinner with the family. I shall make up for it this evening as im doing my take on the beautifully simply fishermans pie.

The weekend was great, had a birthday on Friday night down south, many happy returns to Beth. Then back up for my sisters on Saturday and enjoyed a curry which i really hoped would help this stinking cold ive got. Unfortunately I still feel like my head is about to fall off.

Tar tar.

What is this....

Posted: 22-02-2008 10:38:57
....country coming too?

No really, what is it coming too. The energy providers keep banging on about price increases and how they kept them away from us the mere mortals for as long as possible and then British gas announce monstrous profit, do me a favour. If collusion isnt going on there then im a polar bear, competition commission want to get on that one sharpish.

Also we pay 8 times more duty on beer than they do in France or Germany, what a joke. But its ok your thinking, weve got a good health service at least your thinking.... oh bloody no. A former world war two pilot has been refused treatment for his eyesight, and is protesting in Downing Street today. This bloke risked life for this country and now we saying..."oh sorry mate, paid your tax, risked your life, but im afraid your input went to fund the millennium dome so your bang out of luck." The poor blokes even selling his house to fund the op himself.

I love this country but sometimes it beggars belief that we cant do some really crucial things in society the right way.

Old stuff is....

Posted: 20-02-2008 18:49:47
....bloody heavy.

Back in the good old days when men were men and there was no such things as claims direct, plumbers injuries must have been shocking. I was moving some of those old cast iron radiators last night and my god there bloody heavy. I bet many a old school plumber was left trapped under them while their mates went for a brew. My advice to anyone is get at least 20 people to help move them, even if its only 2 feet.

Food and....

Posted: 18-02-2008 10:31:13
....beer.

Had a great weekend, although we didnt make it to the cider festival all i feel like ive done all weekend is consumed and its been bloody great. Well back to the grind now for monday. Bring it on.

From flat out to....

Posted: 15-02-2008 12:44:55
....partied out.

Sorry I have not written in a while but have been seriously bogged down in work. Anyhow, im pretty much back to normal pace now and all in time for a lovely planned weekend. Got a birthday celebration on Saturday so tonight were going out for food, tomorrow ill be down 'Somerset' way (feel free to speak with the accent) for my second time at the annual real cider festival. I have no doubt that it will get a little bit messy but should be some good old farming fun.

Oh in other good news never mind the buzzcocks has finished this current series so no longer will I inadvertently switch over to see that idiot poodle-haired moron Simon Amstel on my TV screen.

Tar tar and have a lovely weekend one and all.

It's all...

Posted: 08-02-2008 09:32:47
...too busy at the moment, sorry.

The pursuit of....

Posted: 29-01-2008 10:48:51
....happyness.

Walking through town today and i was feeling particu;ar;y happy. When made eye contact with i would smile and on two occasions even said morning. I must have smiled at 20 people and not one smiled back.

Cheer up people of the Birmingham, have you not seen the new bull ring!!??

The anti....

Posted: 25-01-2008 10:36:28
....friday feeling.

whatever happened to the Friday feeling, I always liked those Crunchie adverts with the rollercoaster and stuff. I only question this, as I walked through town today with quite a cheery look on my face smiling at those who made eye contact etc. Not one, I repeat not one person smiled back. No wonder were all such miserable b%$!£^*s!

Cheer up its Friday.

Please please....

Posted: 23-01-2008 08:40:28
....stop.

If anyone has not yet heard seen or knows of this most annoying phenomenon then please enlighten yourself by typing "soulja boy" in to you tube. A particularly annoying tune played with steel drums combined with another talent less over paid American, just what we all need.

Crank off boy.

My sister....

Posted: 16-01-2008 12:33:16
....paints with coffee.

No, shes not mental. She uses black coffee as a colour. It makes a very effective skin tone i must say.

I was well impressed.

Oh....

Posted: 09-01-2008 14:03:17
....yeah.

As were all on about chickens i felt it notable that i had a chicken balti.

Beer and....

Posted: 09-01-2008 14:00:50
....Balti.

I went to the sunny land of West Brom yesterday to look at windows, not exactly thrilling but the window place was down the road from a pub called the vine. This little gem in the crown of Sandwell serves proper pub beer with proper curries. Its bloody brilliant, integration at its best. There is good choice and while I wouldnt call the food gourmet it certainly satisfied my need for spice for a few days. The fact that I could sit with a pint of proper bitter and a genuine curry not a crappy pataks out of the jar curry was great.

If the milk....

Posted: 07-01-2008 16:38:07
....turns out to be sour.

Well it finally happened, my survivor milk finally gave up and went bad. Experts can pinpoint the turn of the milk to be some time during the early hours of Sunday morning. Its survival was a standard never before seen by the experts, lasting a full 9 days past its use by date. i have yet to feel any ill effect from the product, and must commend the Somerfield express in the Texaco garage on Muckly island for the quality of their mass produce.
Well done.

The ever lasting....

Posted: 04-01-2008 10:54:55
....milk.

First of all, happy new year to everyone. But, more important than the New Year is the phenomenon that is occurring in my fridge. I went away for New Year again this year and mistakenly left a half full carton of milk in my fridge. On my return I noticed that the milk was due to be out of date on the 27th of December, as I returned on the 2nd of January surely this would be some rancid filth only the likes of which have been seen in student accommodation. This was not the case, the milk is fine, im keeping it to see simply how long it will last.

My new years just got interesting, as has my life, im just crazy I am, dont you think?

Blogging on a....

Posted: 22-12-2007 12:35:42
....Saturday.

I know I should be enjoying the festivities and I am. I thought id just wish everyone a very merry Christmas and a happy hangover free new year.

See you on the flip side.

Its christmas so....

Posted: 19-12-2007 15:56:17
....why is every one so foul?

On my travels down to Sainsburys i let out a person into traffic, the person behind me beeped and swore at me, then when I got to Sainsburys I didnt have a pound for the trolley and when I asked to customer service desk for change, the most miserable women replied "the desk closes in 15mins so youll have to buy something cus ive sent off the change."
People people people, tis the season to be jolly remember, and to think of all the stick i got about being a scrooge.

We was....

Posted: 18-12-2007 09:56:40
....robbed.

On Saturday I witnessed some of the best football I have seem the mighty saddlers play. One goal disallowed for off-side but in the early minutes of the second half Tommy Mooney hit home. Leeds the sly gits managed to equalise just before the final whistle. Had a great time then went home to beef bourguignon and the best jacket potatoes.

Come on....

Posted: 14-12-2007 09:49:27
....the Saddlers.

Going to watch Walsall play my mums home Leeds united tomorrow. Its going to be great, a proper Saturday, football and beer then home for my mums cooking....Cash back!

In other unimportant news ive done my Christmas shopping, special thanks go out to a Miss Owen, you know who you are, I am really really grateful.

its a bit....

Posted: 11-12-2007 16:29:27
....cold.

Its very very cold but its clear so i like it.

The end

Tis the season to....

Posted: 10-12-2007 10:30:55
....overeat.

Had a lovely weekend, chilled out and last night went to that great Christmas treat, the buffet. Organised by some friends we feasted on all the classics, such as cocktail sausages on sticks, cheese and pineapple on sticks, coleslaw and of course, the mini the sausage roll. We then indulged in the DVD game classic family fortunes. Bloody brilliant.

Well done Ryan and his house, good work.

Dolls and....

Posted: 07-12-2007 17:51:17
....wierdos.

Did you see that great example of channel 5 television last night? It was about these incredibly odd men who have full sized latex dolls. Now straight away youre thinking I know what there for and so did I. But thats not the only thing, they make them dinner, talk to them, photograph them and one bloke even takes one of his out with him in the car to watch him hand glide, its all very bizarre. The dolls probably the reason no-one will talk to them in the first place!

Talk to....

Posted: 05-12-2007 14:56:21
....older people.

They really are quite cool. I went round my Nan and granddads last night and we got talking about when they were kids. They did some brilliant stuff, they literally had nothing compared to me and yet they seem to do and have more fun. my granddad even got fined by a copper for having no lights on his push bike, toady the coppers are busy dealing with all our modern red tape to show that much presence.

“When I were a lad.......”

Now its....

Posted: 03-12-2007 13:54:19
....Christmas.

Well now its December, people around me can mention Christmas without me shouting like a ranting scrooge at them. Ive been pretty good, I came across a good pressie for my sister and then the next day went out and did the majority of my present buying.

My weekend also included that Christmassy of traditions, drinking mulled wine although it was made by a friend Louise, not only did it warm you right up the level of alcohol in it made your eyes water when you brought the glass to you lips. I thought it was great.

Lunch for a....

Posted: 28-11-2007 14:39:33
....pound.

Baguette, crisp and a can of tango for 99p, that’s some kind of ludicrous value. Great business though, the turnover is shocking a queue out the door but your served in less than a minute and the staff are great. I hope they take over every McDonalds going.

Traffic....

Posted: 26-11-2007 14:58:51
....officers.

Are those traffic officers you get on the motorways in jeeps the same as police? Also why oh why when drivers see them do they all slam their brakes on straight away and drop to 60mph refusing to pass them? The speed limit is 70mph, its ok to go past.

bloodyhell....

Posted: 23-11-2007 12:05:34
....its Friday.

That all came around a bit quick didn’t it. Not up to much this weekend, going to see if I can be as unproductive as possible, and then use the excuse that’s its an experiment.

I’ve also decided that prefer maize based snacks as apposed to the potato based crisp.

Crisps vs....

Posted: 21-11-2007 16:25:44
....crisps.

I’m not going to talk about the impending doom of the England game tonight, instead ive was pondering a much more important notion. Are maize based crisps such as the Nik-Nak or Whotsit superior to the traditional potato based crisp?

There’s one to consider if you’re not watching the football, or even if you are.

Anyone for....

Posted: 19-11-2007 09:37:58
....skating?

Well I had a lovely time in the south west this weekend. Friday, had a bit of pub time and Saturday lunch in Bath. Went to the cinema in the evening to see American Gangster, was really good and my man Denzel was great in it, a recommended watch for anyone. After a lazy Sunday a few of us went ice skating and is it me but no matter where you go in the country the towns ice rink always seems to be stuck in 1981? Never the less it was a right laugh and in Bristol afterwards we all shared the pub with minor celebrity Justin Lee Collins. He has extremely big hair and drinks Bulmer’s, which surprised me a little.

Its all bicycles....

Posted: 16-11-2007 17:46:21
....and scarfs.

Im spending this weekend in beautiful Bath. I love it down there, everyone is polite and nice. They all seem to ride old bicycles and look windswept and interesting. You couldnt picture the women getting drunk and slapping each other, im sure they do, but you just couldnt see it ever happening. Mind you, one does get what one pays for and its a bloody fortune to live down there. Still one to aim at for retirement i guess. I love home though, where else would you get the delights of the 51 bus route.

Bon weekend homies.

Me and....

Posted: 15-11-2007 22:09:41
....chillies.

I love chillies. I put them on everything, cheese on toast, pasta and scrabbled egg. I recommend you try them in scrambled egg. Also they increase you metabolism by up to 25%.

Kentucky Fried....

Posted: 12-11-2007 14:29:57
....didnt happen.

Dispite being adamant that i was going to indulge in a KFC over the weekend, it didnt happen. I did however have a bath this weekend. this is a rare occasion for me because as a man of efficiency I much prefere the shower. It is a joy however, to soak for half an hour like a big girl with bubbles and stuff. I recommend it to even the most manly man.

This weekend....

Posted: 09-11-2007 22:00:02
....ill be mostly be doing nothing

I have one objective, and one objective only this weekend and that is to eat a family bucket from KFC. Im going to generally slob and try to do as little as possible, I can only suggest you join me.

Have a good one no matter how productive or unproductive you are.

Me, myself....

Posted: 08-11-2007 13:28:39
....and socks.

I seem to get through an alarming amount of socks. I think it must be there way i walk or something. I recently purchased new socks and already ive worn holes in 3 of the pairs.

East is East is....

Posted: 05-11-2007 08:32:04
....best.

Firstly, I apologise for not writtng a pre-weekend entry. Not that my weekend was massivly exciting really. Many plans ended up changing but still managed to have a good one. i did watch east is East for the second time. I hadn't seen it for a while and had forgotten just how good it is. It brings up many topics that most wouldnt darein the current politically correct climate, and good on it for doing so.

I cant stand....

Posted: 01-11-2007 09:43:06
....that Simon bloke off never mind the buzzcocks.

He's a sarcastic tit, who really does need a big slap from his mother. Thats about it for my thoughts today, Ta tar!

Its a....

Posted: 30-10-2007 12:21:52
....dogs life.

Well i had an absolutely lovely weekend. The opera was, shall we say interesting, not that understood it or anything but my girlfriend seemed to know exactly what was going on. She went on about all sorts of hidden meanings and methaphors, but then again she's one of those arty types so what do you expect.

Had a great sunday lunch at my parents, and some how ended up going home with the family dog for the night, the reason for this i'm yet to find. I did find that i simply do not exist when that dog was in the room and i'd love the amount of attention he got.

"You want a treat Archie?" bloody marvellous.

Culture....

Posted: 26-10-2007 11:31:44
....vulture.

Im going to the opera tonight with fellow cherries. im sure ill have no idea whats going on and question shaun endlessly throughout, but its good to familiarise myself with the ways of the Bourgeoisie. Have a truely spelendid
weekend..........whatwhatwhat!

The revenge of....

Posted: 25-10-2007 09:13:02
....the potato.

Last nite when preparing a baked potato, i was stabbing it with a fork to ensure a thorough cooking of said vegetable. This is a common way as im sure you know of preparing a potato for baking. However, this particular spud decided to enact revenge. Just at the point of no return in the stabbing action the potato slipped out of my hand and in the sheer panic i stabbed myself with a fork. Not my greatest moment i will say, but i feel i should showcase my utter stupidity as a warning to other potato fans out there of the unseen risk associated with potato preparation.

Made to....

Posted: 23-10-2007 08:52:39
....measure.

I had the worst day ever on Saturday, amongst the multitude of things that annoyed me, top of the list was locking myself out of the house. This started my wonderful day off in just the right way.

Something like that is so easily avoided and thats what made it so bloody annoying. I tried various tactics to gain entry, one included using a wire coat hanger and fashioning a cunning device. This device could then be poked through the letter box and up to open the door from the inside, lets just say this wasn't successful and we had to resort to breaking the window.

I must say however my boarding up of the window wasn't bad, despite injuring myself doing it, i was impressed with my handy work.

If i knew you were coming....

Posted: 19-10-2007 10:24:30
....i'd have baked a cake.

It was my close frinds birthday yesterday and his loving girlfriend Sophie baked him a cake with a superman logo on it made out of all sort of sweets. Proud of her accmoplishment she took her photo of it on her mobile before it got eaten. Now this illusive photo doesnt appear on her phone and last night over a drink we all (well mainly me) questioned whether she had really made this cake at all? Anyway, i write this rather dull blog entry by way of a tribute to the cake that never was and wish my buddy a top notch birthday weekend!!

Cheese....

Posted: 17-10-2007 14:04:41
....and Pickle.

I cat stop eating cheese and pickle sandwiches, my mums mate made me this apple chutney stuff and its epic. Surely that much dairy cant be good for you?

Sporting....

Posted: 15-10-2007 13:44:05
....triumph.

What a great weekend for english rugby, i only wish id put a bet on, at one point betfair were offering odds of 257/1 for England to win, that could turn in to a nice earner for someone come next Saturday.

P is for....

Posted: 12-10-2007 09:51:46
...Party.

Attending a party tonight where the theme is the letter P. Anything goes as long as it begins with P, im going as a prisoner and im even going as far as drinking Pimms too. Im a very particular type of inmate.

Laugh out....

Posted: 11-10-2007 16:58:30
....loud.

This is pure genius.

Click here to visit

You have to....

Posted: 10-10-2007 20:52:45
....watch this

It called "About Schmidt" starring Jack Nicholson, i watched it last night. Those that have seen it will know, its great, really funny and i advise all to rent it.

A message of....

Posted: 08-10-2007 18:46:07
....Health and Safety.

The hard shoulder on the motorway is for vehicles which have broke down. If you are using this emergency lane for other reasons such as being stopped by the authorities, reading a map or having a piddle, please use the lane itself to accelerate to the correct speed before re-joing the motorway traffic. Do not pull onto the motorway and then attempt to gain the correct speed.

Only Joking,

Posted: 28-09-2007 15:08:43
I enjoyed blogging so much I'm starting again.

All good things....

Posted: 10-08-2007 23:04:59
....must come to an end.

Well thats it, my time at cherry has come to an end. I can only apologise for the lack of blog entries but ive been tieing up all my loose ends before i depart.

I have to say, "its been emotional". I'd like to thank all of the cherries for putting up with me and showing me the way and training me in the art of "tyecherrydo" Many thanks to all of you and you know ill be back in the office to annoy you all soon.

My final wise words to the three people who actually read this blog are:

"Dont eat yellow snow"

Peace and love to all.
x

Robots....

Posted: 31-07-2007 12:27:45
....in disguise.

Went to see Transformers at the weekend and it was a well recived motion picutre with excellent acting from the like of Tyress Gibson...... oh i cant do it. It was brilliant, absolute feast for the eyes with a pretty much continual torrent of CGI effects, crap ham acting and no storyline but it just didnt matter. I looked down the line of my friends watching the film and we all had adopted the same expression of "wow" on our faces, all lent forward and simply not blinking incase in those miliseconds we'd miss a transformation.

BEST QUOTE: "Bumblebee stop lubricating on the human."
BEST CHARACTER: Barricade (Decepticon who transforms into a police car)

Ive been waiting 18 yrs for that film and it was absolute genius, i predict the second film to be out by the end of 2008 and the third in the early part of 2010. Its and franchise that still needs to be done....again. Starscream needs a chance to take over the world, its gonna happen, oh yes its gonna happen!

Fiat, Italian for....

Posted: 27-07-2007 19:39:25
...rip off.

Continuing my car based theme, well my second entry about cars, have you seen the new fiat punto ad. It rips of the chase scene in the italian job, a quintessentially British film. Bloody cheek thats what i say, sorry im feeling particually patriotic at the moment, im sure it'll pass.

Have a good weekend.

All hail....

Posted: 26-07-2007 18:52:36
....the automobile.

If you know me youll know im into my cars, but after watching the top gear special last nite it did occour to me what a fantastic thing the car is. Would modern society really be where it is without our use of the common motor?

I think we should make July 26th "Wow, isnt the car a great piece of kit to have around and get you from A to B, Day" i think it'll catch on, im sure the americans would like it.

Everything is....

Posted: 23-07-2007 20:08:24
....the same.

Went out on sunday, and for a change of scenery thought we'd go to Lichfield and have some processed pub grub from somewhere diiferent. We get in the pub and its exactly the same as our local, i mean the chairs, layout even the soap in the bogs. youd think they'd allow a little originality from pub to pub.

Britney goes....

Posted: 20-07-2007 20:28:35
....fascist.

Did you see that programme last night about two American twins? Pop stars they were referred to by there mother, and sung about white power and race hate. Absolutely awful it was, it showed the awesome influence parents have on their children, even more awful was the realisation of what they were doing as the kids grew up, and the disappointment they showed for their bloddy mental mother!

Why cant we all just get along, huh huh?

Where are....

Posted: 19-07-2007 20:13:03
....they now?

Genius tele last night, dragons den:where are they now. i showed some of the people who either were or were not invested in and how successful they'd been, the ones who weren't invested in were great,really eager to prove how well they'd done on there own.

One bloke said "well i managed to gain the experience the dragons would have provided in, oooo, 6 months" Six months? who's he Mr business 2007?

Theres a hole....

Posted: 16-07-2007 18:59:51
....in my arm.

Was doing a little DIY over the weekend, pencil behind ear and blow torch in hand, feeling all manly and secure in my ability. Put the blow torch down and lent on it. You know when it takes a while for the pain to register, but in the mean time it ok because your skin is cooking. Well that happened and now i have a 3 inch burn up my arm and it bloody hurts.

Apart from this mishap the weekend was a fesitval of chillaxing and hangovers, i recommend not drinking and entire bottle of gin to oneself over the duration of an evening, you dont feel good in the morning.

Remember when....

Posted: 13-07-2007 18:53:34
....all i did is shop for cars?

Not for me though, my mate still hasnt found the perfect car. Were treking up to Leeds tomorrow to looks at another. I have to go apparently as he said "you can deal with these people, ill just fold." What exactly is there to deal with, maybe its the northern thing iguess. My mums from up there, theres a way to deal with them there northerners i tell thee.

A friends house party tonight, im drinking gin and tonic (no comments thankyou) and for the first time in a while i have the full intent of getting drunk, noit like the other times when it happens by accident!

Have a goodun!!

Like a....

Posted: 12-07-2007 19:54:50
....bee.

Yes im very busy, so many apologies for my late entry. good weekend and a fast flying week. Will holla back tomorrow in more detail.

Safe Word and all that type of talk.

Birmingham....

Posted: 06-07-2007 12:32:50
....ink

Myself and a two other friends are accompanying our other friend to the sunny sights of Leicester tomorrow where he is putting himself through 3 hours of pain and having another tattoo. Its going to stretch from over his left shoulderdown his left side accross his ribs under his left arm and down below his stomach, one word for this...OW! or is it stupid, i never can decide.

The reason we're going so far afield is because this women is supposed to be brilliant and if you going to have somone "artistically" scare 50% of your torso you want to be sure she isnt doing it paint by numbers.

No news really is....

Posted: 03-07-2007 13:00:23
....good news.

Watched the news last night and there wasnt one positive thing.one cant really find the good in bombs, child abuse and flooding.

Anyone for....

Posted: 02-07-2007 14:05:21
....street scrabble?

what a pleasent weekend i had. A nice lie in on Saturday morning, then some lunch in the pub. Had everyone back to my place for another Wii tournement but better than this, my friend brought a Sega Mega Drive round, oh the memories. Golden Axe, Sonic, Micro Machines the list is endless, absolutely brilliant fun and we were all humming the old mono tone music like we'd been playing it for years.

Had a lovely lunch with the family on Sunday, we went back to a chinese that i hadnt eaten in for years. My last memory of it was great food but the service would have shamed the eating quarters of the french foreign legion. However, it had totally changed all the guys were really sound. Sunday evening i went to my smoke-free local, which i thought id like the sound of, but it just wasnt the same and what with half of my friends dissapearing every 30 mins for a fag it became a little annoying. We did get down to playing some serious "street Scrabble" though. Street scrabble differs from regular scrabble in that slang and abbreviations can be used. Words used included brap, holla, and QVC (the shopping channel). When doing pub time it is now a must do activity.

Everything is....

Posted: 29-06-2007 11:26:58
....grey.

It seems to me at the moment eveything is grey, the sky, the road, peoples faces. I know everyone seems to think its sunny but i cant really see it. We need some sunshine to brighten everyone up anyway. I myself am reasonably "chipper", oh yeah i used the word chipper.

From red....

Posted: 25-06-2007 21:44:02
....to brown.

My back has now fully recovered from the sun bashing it received last week, however now i have a brown back with a very very brown strip across its centre. Its not a good look on the beach, belive me.

In other news, did you hear about the American judge who is sueing his dry cleaning firm for loosing his $1000 suit trousers, for wait for it........$54 million.

Americans ay, cant live with them, cant cut their polution levels.

Its a....

Posted: 22-06-2007 13:31:53
....hard life.

Had a nice walk along the beach today in the blazing sunshine, it was most enjoyable and judging by the outlook for the weather in the UK i really had better make the most of it. I feel for Mat and Jen at Glastonbury, hopefully it'll dry out over the weekend for them and for everyone.

A couple of my friends are off to the US for the next 2 months teaching in the camps so best of luck to them. That many american kids, can you imagine? I'd rather not thanks!

A series of....

Posted: 21-06-2007 10:03:26
....unfortunate events.

Well not really a series and not really unfortunate. Im away at the moment hence the infrequent blog entries but i do when i can. The first event is that i felt i could adiquately apply sun cream to my entire back, this was not the case however after being lay in the sun for a few hours i had a large red bar accross the middle of my back, proof ladies and gentlemen that one cannot apply sun protection adiquatley to ones own back. The good news is that its going proper brown now, not that i recommend burning infact i recommend you really dont do it.
The second event (to create a series) would be the insect that appears to have eaten my left leg. Why to they bite? No matter they wont be doing it again, ive loaded my room with anti-bug devices and started batheing in insect repelent.

Campness and....

Posted: 18-06-2007 22:42:11
....fathers day.

This weekend hailed fathers aday and a party. fathers day was a rather low key affair if im honest, i think my dad sees it as a bit of a waste of time anyway. I missed my buddies football presentation on Friday, many apologies lads. Im sure they clearded up all the awards and there are an assortment of photographs showing various body parts set to the campest poses.

Am I turning into....

Posted: 13-06-2007 10:42:03
....a women.

I felt like a change last nite and considering the lovely weather i thought id have a gin and tonic. Tal glass, bombay sapphire, and a massive chunk of lime. My enjoyment was marred somewhat by the jibes from my friends that my chosen beverage was in fact "a womens drink". I dont think this is the case but they were in universal agreement.

Maybe the sun brings out my femine side, right im off to buy a nice frock.

More party treats....

Posted: 11-06-2007 19:28:40
....than you can shake a stick at.

I went to a party on friday night, absolute genius. among the entertainment was a mini-casino, cocktail bar and free yes free bumper cars. Had a right giggle, watching people in tuxedos and ball gowns getting in and out of bumper car with pints of snake bite and black.

He's big, he's red....

Posted: 07-06-2007 09:00:59
....his feet sick out the bed. Peter Crouch, Peter Crouch.

A relativly strong performance last nite. Could have been a tad better i thought. Beckham again had major influence and the Crouch goal was superb.

Come on then who's next for a beating?!

Clamenza sleeps....

Posted: 06-06-2007 10:50:44
....with the fishes.

I watched The Godfather part 2, by far the best of the trilogy. I forgot De Niro was in it too. Properly entertaining film, it goes back and shows event before the first film. They are films you need to see before you die so if you havn't, watch them.

He never should....

Posted: 04-06-2007 07:26:28
....have been dropped.

Im no fan of proffessional footballers. If your a common peruser of this blog you'll well know i think there a bunch offensivly paid drama queens. I do have a few exceptions though. Well 3, Zidane, Gerrard and Beckham, technically 2.5 because Zidane doesnt play internationally now.

What a talent Beckham is, the man played great on Friday. He can really raise his game and he seems genuinely commited to the England squad. Why cant we perform like that all the time McLaren? Huh huh!

In other news, the NHS may now be refunded for some cancer treatments when they prove to be unsuccessful. This could potentially revolutionise the way expensive treatments are given through the NHS. Maybe if that doesn't work we could cut footballers wages down to a sensible figure and pump the rest of the revenue into something better like err....i dunno saving peoples lives?

Just a thought though.

Come on....

Posted: 01-06-2007 14:37:09
...England

Its a friendly i know, but it is against arguably the best side the world has to offer at the moment and we must put on a good show. We invented the bloody game so we should show that we are half decent at it.

3....

Posted: 31-05-2007 14:23:10
....yellow cards.

Graham Poll quit proffesional refereeing this week and he is now working towards getting refs more respect in the game. He's not exactly the best example of quality after giving 3 yellow cards before finally sending off a Croatian. These overpaid tits we call footballers need to learn the meaning of authority. Bring on the sinbin for football.

Waynes world,waynes world....

Posted: 25-05-2007 16:32:29
.....party time, excellent.

Party tonight and tomorrow, and off onMonday.

Party on Wayne....

What a load....

Posted: 24-05-2007 16:24:55
....of dribble.

Now im sorry, i love Stevie as much as the next bloke, not quite as much as my mate Lee but never the less, hes the man. However, simply not on form last nite. Shades of laziness were even apparent, not impressed and as for that cheating Italian git Gattuso, well he just needs a slap.

Why does using....

Posted: 21-05-2007 16:18:05
....a drill make me feel more manly?

The Wii tournament went well, however my mate was simply unstoppable on the tennis so in the end we bullied him off and played a different game, much to his disgust.

Saturday had a morning of me doing man stuff and helping to put up radiators. Well i say putting up radiators, or as i now call them "rads", It was more drilling holes with a massive hammer drill, mans work i tell you. Then went to the pub in the afternoon to watch the overpaid footballing pounces jump on the floor whenever they came within 3 feet of each other.

Shame the southerners won though. I also found myself warming to C.Ronaldo, this is worrying stuff!

Cometh the hour....

Posted: 18-05-2007 19:27:50
....cometh the Wii

Got some buddies round tonight for a tournement on my brothers Nintendo Wii. Should be a right laugh, particually as there is beer involved. Have a "rootin tootin" weekend yall and ill report back on Monday.

Everyone needs....

Posted: 15-05-2007 22:46:40
....a ninja in their life.

Go onto youtube and type in 'ask a ninja' i would give you a direct link but you need the whole entry library. I was literally laughing out loud like a sad bloke.

Genius.

Its my....

Posted: 14-05-2007 07:02:53
....brothers birthday.

My brother Lewis is 13 today. He'll be all teenage and start throwing things and stuff now.

Happy Birthday bruv.

Masters of....

Posted: 14-05-2007 07:01:18
....the Impossipuzzle.

As you well know it was my birthday recently and from a friend i had a jigsaw puzzle. However, this was no ordinary jigsaw puzzle, this was known as an impossipuzzle. It is a double sided jigsaw with all the pieces looking the same shape, a large picture of smarties on one side and penny sweets on the other. This makes every piece look identical an therefore very difficult to complete.

Now i like a challenge so i sat down for about an hour on friday evening and did the boarder, this was reletively easy as you just look for pieces with straight edges. I stopped and a couple of mates came round for beer and take-away. Upon seeing the jigsaw two of the four vistiors promptly sat down. These two sad gits did not move for the following six hours working in unison until 2.30am until the task was done.

I know what your thinking, we know how to have a good time, Jigsaw puzzles on a friday night, were just crazy like that, wild out there sort of people.

People can be....

Posted: 11-05-2007 02:30:49
....so agressive.

Upon venturing out last nite for a few after hours beverages i left said establishment only for a fellow waiting in a bus stop to shout a barrage of abuse at me. The basis for this abuse was that i had a shirt on and the gentlemen felt i was, as he so colourfully put it "a poncey b&%$£!d"

Why would he shout this, it all seemed a little unessecery to me.

You know its a good birthday....

Posted: 08-05-2007 19:29:21
....when you get meat as a gift.

Well what a lovely long weekend ive had. So many people made such an effort with my birthday. Gifts included a one off t-shirt, some bad-ass homemade cards and meat, brilliant. Went for a few drinks on friday, found a place that does really good cocktails and drank like a full on student. Was brought a horrendous concoction known as the dirty pint. This delightful mix consisted of half a pint of lager then one shot of vodka, sambucca, brandy, rum, whisky, malabu, oh and squeeze of lime cus im classy like that.

Had a wonderfully relaxing time at a spa on Sunday evening and spent the monday 'chillaxing' (new word combining chilling and relaxing) and making pancakes. great new filling of banana and golden syrup, bloody delicious.

Reasons to be....

Posted: 04-05-2007 09:08:15
....cheerful.

Firstly today is my birthday, thats always a good reason. More importantly the number of people who actually remembered has made me a very cheery soul today. Im quite shocked that friends in the US, Sweden, Denmark and Spain all remembered, they even got in touch before lunchtime too. My younger sister also got her mates to sing happy birthday to me this morning. Believe me 25 kids singing wakes you right up in the morning.

More generally, a reason for us all to be cheerful is that is a bank holiday weekend which magically makes a sunday into a saturday.

Party on people.

No-one has any....

Posted: 02-05-2007 16:21:24
....resepct anymore.

After reading the other cherries blogs today i feel the need to comment on the plethora, of what can only be described as utterly shite behaviour by our fellow man.

Public transport would be just fine if the scum such as the chavtasic, openly abusive, mobile phone stealing element of our community all found a hole and buried themselves. Also do we have no Britishness left? The queue is king, were crap at football, queueing is what we do best. Anyone who dares to break the rules of the queue should be shot on sight in a marshall law style act! I was feeling really well adjusted, calm and content this morning too....Bloody people!

Duel....

Posted: 01-05-2007 11:52:57
....with an ambulance.

I was driving home last nite and out of no where a transit van came right up behind me, i mean really close. It then stayed they for a good 15 minutes. Typical white van man driving i hear you cry, but this particular van was an ambulance. No lights were on and no sirens. I slowed down to see if it wanted to over take, no. I sped up and so did he, it just sat on my arse all the way home.

I thought they were supposed to help at accidents not cause them?!

They came to....

Posted: 30-04-2007 10:22:06
....save the world.

The party on Saturday was epic. Everyone had made such an effort, heros from around the globe turned up to celebrate including, Captain Camp, Senor Marvellous, Sargent Silcone, Souper Chef, (can you see what he did there?) and Not Very Convincing Tarnsvestite Man.

Needless to say a lots consumption was done that evening and i woke up on Sunday felling not on top of the world. However, a sunday lunch at my mums and a few beers sorted me right out and had a Ghostbusters Marathon Sunday evening.

Who you gonna call?

A weekend of....

Posted: 27-04-2007 20:07:27
....a thousand heros.

The long awaited super-hero themed party is nigh and my costume is complete. should be a great laugh, a mate is going as the "phantom peg man" and another "ASBO man". Work it out for youself?

Have a "goodun" whatever you do.

I love it when....

Posted: 25-04-2007 12:30:50
....a costume comes together.

My friends 21st on Saturday and a huge shindig is being held to celebrate that fact. Its fancy dress with the theme of create your own superhero. My custom made cape arrived today and the finishing touches top the rest of my costume off a treat. He better notice the effort made, otherwise "Captain Grumpy" is gonna have to whoop some ass!

Roll on Saturday.

Happy....

Posted: 23-04-2007 10:06:09
....St GEORGES DAY!

I know he was actually Turkish but celebrate the day. Be proud to be English. Do something English like get in a queue for something, were good at queuing.

The weekend....

Posted: 23-04-2007 10:03:18
....that could have been.

Now not that i have any issues with my actual weekends activites, but what i could have been doing if i were not taking care of my siblings i must say does seem to be far more favourable to me. On friday i missed out on going to see london elektricity in town and Sunday got invited to watch the touring cars but couldnt go. The Sunday was less of an issue though as i we all went to my nans for a top class sunday lunch.

Nice works nan, your cooking of sausage is king!

I hate....

Posted: 20-04-2007 10:15:42
....automated telephone services.

Upon trying to get through to the NIA customer services today i found i wanted to kill myself after what seemed like an eternity on the phone, but in reality was only a few minutes on their automated answering serivce. Why oh why cant you just speak to a bloody person, all i want to know is show times.

You try the different options and each time you get put in a queue to book tickets, i have tickets i want the bloody show times.....FOOLS!

Going once, going twice....

Posted: 18-04-2007 10:26:35
....sold!

Had a great time at the charity aucton last nite. The turn out was great and there were loads of pretentious people dicussing pastel effects and the texture of the brush strokes. There was some really nice art there though, not that im suprised or anything just didnt think there would be anything id like, just be nice to have the cash to bid, Ha!

Im really trying not to mention the weather too!

Its not just a....

Posted: 16-04-2007 10:36:53
....scary movie.

Friday the 13th was fine until my car decided to go 'blah' on the Birmingham Road and stopped working. This wasnt the only auto motive mishap to occour. Another friends car broke and then when he finally got home he realised he had left his wallet in the AA truck, not good.

This meant i couldnt sample the delights of the Glee Club once more. Feedback was that an average night was had so im not feeling too disapointed. As the weekend progressed it improved greatly. A very pleasent Saturday, lunch with a friends then football, and a nice dabble of pub time in the evening. Sunday did some gardening for my mum, proper Sunday jobs, it was great with the weather being so good.

Congratulations to Ed and Linzie who are now proud parents, Rock on!

Not learning from....

Posted: 13-04-2007 13:26:19
....my mistakes.

Tonight im venturing back to Birmighams Glee Club for a friends birthday.The last time i went a shite experience was had, the staff were rude and the managemnt took my friend for a complete mug. Im giving it one more chance to redeem itself. If it fails i may even write a letter of complaint because im British and thats what we do.

Mission impossible....

Posted: 11-04-2007 12:05:05
....eat your heart out.

Well what a long and sunny weekend that was, out thursday nite with some friends, a delightful BBQ on Friday evening then poker, Saturday i went to Donington race track, the jump on Sunday then another BBQ on Monday...Brilliant.

I feel i must talk a little more about the skydive though, absolutely brilliant! Had a briefing then got kitted up. It took 20 mins to get to a jump height of 13,500ft and then out of the plane into a 45 second freefall strapped to my new best friend Dave. Once the canopy had opened he taught me how to do sprirals and somersalts. It was the best thrill ever and all i want to do is do it again.

There is a ruff cut of the jump online and my goodness me i sound like a brummy, my accent is awful.

Click here to visit

Leap of....

Posted: 05-04-2007 20:53:46
....Faith.

Well the weekend is nigh and a long one it will be, what with Easter and all. It may well be my last as my belated skydive is this Sunday. Ive used the extra time well i feel, mainly to get acquainted with my underwear more and to live life that little bit extra, you know "just in case". Im sure ill be fine though and if im honest, i cant wait. Its going to be such a buzz and especially now i know the details of the jump itself from my last visit.

For the second time, a massive thankyou to all those who have sponsored me and ill be round to collect in the next week or two, that is
a)If i live

and

b)If the weather is ok
It is looking good, at the moment its set to be clear with a slight wind, a lot can change in two and a bit days though.

Well i hope everyone has a pleasureable easter and we all take time out to remember why it is we get these extra days off...

...Obviously for the big rabbit, why else?

Officially the worst....

Posted: 04-04-2007 13:27:21
....television to date.

Last nite i witnessed some of the worst reality TV driville ever concocted, 'Sex in Court'. Couples have there sexual issues/disagreements decided by a jury of strangers and a vedict is passed in a fake law court.

I mean i ask you, Judge Judy is pushing it, but can we go any lower?

One hundred....

Posted: 02-04-2007 22:32:14
....and eighty.

Watched an episode of the original 'BULLSEYE' on Saturday and forgot the level of genius that is personified by Jim Bowen. Me and friends marvelled at the whole show, Bullies 'special prize' was as stack stereo, the unique selling point was that it had two tape decks and a CD player!

Other fun tele was T4 on Sunday when a fight/scuffle (no theres a word that isnt used enough, Scuffle) broke out. The welsh bloke, cant remember his name, got pushed over a couch and through the set by an 8yr olds agent, very funny on a hung over Sunday morning. It certainly brought a smile to my face.

Once upon a time....

Posted: 30-03-2007 15:17:53
....in Mexico.

Had a mate come round last nite and we had tacos. Gotta say a very enjoyable meal, and made a change from the norm. However i do need to warn of the deceptive packaging on the particular well known brand of taco kit purchased (old elpaso) This kit states it feeds four people, believe me it does not. It was perfect amount for me and my mate. Also you need to purchase extras salsa, you have been warned.

My sister is back from her skiing holiday on Sat and my brother has gone on one today, jammy gits. French alps for one and the rocky mountains for the other, such a hard life.

Have a good weekend people.

A steady supply of....

Posted: 28-03-2007 17:57:54
....sweets.

Found out today that my brothers bus stops right outsides a brilliant sweet shop. Its one of those old school ones where they have every sweet invented and the walls are covered up by those big jars.

This means i need to catch up from being denied my right to a quarter of pineapple chunks every week for the last two years.

Cooked to....

Posted: 26-03-2007 15:28:10
....perfection.

Had 2 boilded eggs for breakfast this morning and as the title would suggest they were very enjoyable.

Went to see 300 at the weekend with some friends, quite good but if you are going to go and see it you should definitely watch it at the cinema. My little brother made a better choice and went to see TMNT, he was impressed. It was a childhood favourite of mine so that'll be well getting a look over this week.

Also i managed to get the topic of the budget into conversation. This elevated the IQ needed to engage in one of our pub-time talks from 4 to 6 at least.

Could you really dodge....

Posted: 23-03-2007 13:05:11
....a firework if you knew it was coming?

I was out last night with some friends and discovered we all have a ability to talk about the most odd subjects. Particually when something poignant may have occurred in one of our lives. Support from our peers is usually a sure fix to anyone's personal problems, but we tend to put such issues aside in favour of talking about anything but. Last nights topic was the best way to dodge various projectiles such as bullets, fireworks, cars and birds.

A little odd you may be thinking, and rightly so. You may also be thinking the occasional random topic in a conversation is good, a change from the norm. However, i can not think back to a sensible conversation we've had. Others this week have included having a tiger as a pet and the top 3 game. Im going to make a concious effort to talk about the budget or something else with a current affairs theme this evening.

Did you hear....

Posted: 21-03-2007 12:23:53
....about that cat.

A cat in Chelmsford has been hailed a saviour after it alerted its sleeping owners to the fact their flat was on fire. It made loads of noise according to the papers, how exactly? A "meooww" can only reach low decibels surely? It did it though, it must of cus the "SUN" newspaper said so.

Either way, thats some badass, people saving, furry, four-legged smoke alarm.....And to think i thought cats were the spawn of Satan himself.

What is it with....

Posted: 19-03-2007 13:31:43
....English weather?

Ok so got up at 6.30am on Sunday morning primed for my jump, drove to the airport only to be told it was far too windy to jump and i would need to re-book. I have to say i was less than impressed but did have some of the induction training which certainly opened up my eyes a bit more. For a kick off they lie about it being 10,000 feet, ill be jumping from 13,000 feet and ive got to say this did please me. This allows for at least a 50 second free-fall, plenty of time for something to go wrong but also plenty of time to pull stupid faces for the camera man.

So i had to re-book, the earliest i can get is Sunday 8th of April. Its not all bad though it means i have chance to get some more sponsorship and it also meant i could get home for a top Sunday lunch for mothers day with the whole family, which included beating up my siblings and controling a slightly tipsy grandmother, shes a legend!

The moment....

Posted: 16-03-2007 14:46:56
....of truth.

Tonight i think im braving an evening out with a few friends, gonna go out for some beers some place we dont usually go becuse we're just "crazy" people like that. Havn't decided where yet which usually means we'll end up in the same places we always go.

Sunday however, is going to be a whole different day. This is judgement day as ill be plummiting to earth at 120 mph and hopefully landing gracefully and safely somewhere in Nottingham. I'd like to say a big thankyou to everyone who has sponsored me, their support has been far beyond what I expected.

Im going to get it filmed so you can see the sheer terror in my face, and if something goes wrong it can go on the news. I better make national news though and not that crap excuse for news programming known as "Midlands Today."

What is....

Posted: 13-03-2007 15:21:13
....art?

Went to a really pretentious textiles exibition yesterday. A friend was presenting her set of 'textile print designs', I was very impressed with her work if im honest, some of the other stuff there was a bit "blah." One exibitor even put a price of £150 on a bag that was litterally made from the same stuff those posh sainburys shopping bags. Even I think its top notch work and I know nothing about art. Get yourself an original textile design and e-mail ellenbrigden@hotmail.com

Other interesting things that happened today is my first taste of a mango and on the walk home last nite I saw a Badger in the bushes....oh yeah!

Rugby players shouldn't....

Posted: 12-03-2007 15:24:04
....be allowed long hair.

I know you all thinking you only have that attitude because you havn't got any, but this really isn't the case. Did you see that cheating Italian git who went in low and punched the welsh bloke in the face. Not only is he a bad sportman,my main concern was his stupid long hair! There "ard" though arn't they rugby players. TheWelsh bloke went off, had some stitches in his face and was back on after half-time. We beat the frenchtoo, get in!

Yesterday i had a very relaxing experience at a spa, it was a joy. Swam in a shallow roof-top pool and watched the sun go down. Spent most of my time in a frankincense steam room though. Free robe and slippes too, Bonus.

Jump Sponsorship Update

Posted: 09-03-2007 15:42:35
Ive reached my set target for funds raised and im still going strong. I'd like to thank everyone for their generous contributions, but im still collecting right until jump day, which ive just realised in mext Sunday........Oh dear!!

Did you know....

Posted: 09-03-2007 15:39:53
....there is a milkybar ice cream.

Thats some serious good eating my friends, not to mention it makes you "strong and tough" just like the milkybar kid. Whatever you do, dont eat spinach on the same day or youll become some over sized pipe smoking, sailor who dresses like a cowboy and fancy people named after cooking ingredients.

Just for anyone who thinks im talking utter B$*&%@KS here is an explanation.

1:The famous cartoon character Popeye eats spinich to make him strong.
2:Popeye smokes a pipe and is a sailor.
3:The milky bar kid dresses as a cowboy.(Well he was in the last advert i saw)
4:Popeye's love interest was Olive Oil, also commonly used cooking oil.

Its absolute....

Posted: 08-03-2007 12:47:59
....genius!

Dragons Den BBC2 8pm on Wednesdays, plus you get to see what is possibly the ugliest women on the planet.

Did you....

Posted: 06-03-2007 15:27:33
....know that everyones favourite "smack that" senegalese rappper 'AKON' has his own diamond mine.

Well thats what i was told by a reliable source anyway. Must have got bored of all those Bently's and Biatch's.

Where can i get hold....

Posted: 06-03-2007 15:26:42
....of a look a like stuffed otter like the one in the Calvin Harris video.(I think its an otter)

I personally believe all of us should have some false looking creature to parade around as a static pet, less hassle no feeding or walking just the pleasures of owning a pet with non of the drawbacks. Also more dangerous animals could be considered as household pets, such as perhaps an African Huniting Dog or the not so dangerous but elusive Duck Billed Platypus. Obviously these would not be actual stuffed animals, i was thinking along the lines of false teddy like base, made to look realistic with fake fur and features built on top.

Actually, a weekend....

Posted: 05-03-2007 09:38:08
....of doing stuff i havn't done in ages.

As planned this weekend consited of doing as little as possible. However, i did find myself doing stuff that i either used to do regularly and havn't done for a while or just havnt done for a while. These included eating a Greggs Steak Bake, seeing the legndary Vanilla Ice video for Ice Ice Baby, watching Forest Gump, going for lunch with my siblings and going into where i used to work.

My poker skills appear to be improving too, out of five of us that played on Saturday i got down to the last two. I do think we all need to have proper american poker names though, i was thinking "Tommy Gun" its pretty manly and it incorporates a fire-arm which must be cool....surely?

Just a small rant this morning. The things about the NHS is....its crap! My friend developed a lung infection and was in serious pain, went to the hospital they put him on medication that didnt work. Now im sorry but arnt they supposed to fix people? Bloody cheek!

Get well soon good buddy and in the words of Mr Ice himself "Word to your mother!"

A weekend....

Posted: 02-03-2007 16:57:13
....of doing nothing.

May i first start by means of a small rant about the "change to scheduled progamming" made by BBC2 yesterday evening. After deliberately missing Top Gear on Sunday thinking i was able to watch it on Wednesday, I initially became upset to see that the usual slot of 7.00pm Wednesday was taken up witha completely unrelated programme. However, after perusing the Radio Times more i saw that the repeat had been moved to the following day. So sat with beer in hand I was distgusted to see a barage of repeated snipets of previous shows cunningly disguised as a "Best of..." programme, not impressed.

Got a bit of poker "on the cards" for this weekend. You see what i did there, do you? Main activity however will be "pub time" and generally being a lazy bum about the flat.

Its Friday and the weekend is nigh....Good times....but this week went proper quick and its only 2 full days till monday again....Bad times....Top Gear should be repeated again on BBC3 on Saturday....Good times again.

Hurrah!! (In the style of a plum public school boy)

My brother....

Posted: 28-02-2007 12:24:30
....is a brilliant drummer.

I was watching my brother playing the drums last night and he is really good. Properly good i mean, he always used to stop playing whenever i watched him or just play simply, I was shocked.

Good looking and musical....I hate him!!

A simple pleasure....

Posted: 27-02-2007 16:18:12
....everyone can enjoy.

After purchasing a batch of new socks and throwing away my old ones i realised what a pleasure the wearing of new socks can be. It also dawned on me that this is one of the few things that can experienced by all equally. So my advice is, if your feeling a little down, pop out and re-stock your sock draw, guarantee youll feel better.

Paintball was a right laugh on Saturday, despite certain people taking it a little too seriously and acting like they were back in "NAM!" The most entertaining activity came when we were knocked out of the game. This meant we had time to play our new game "the see how close you can shoot at each other in a jackass style manner....game" A few bruises but over all i would recommend to all and our marshall leader was comedy genius without even realising it.

Went to the cinema last nite and for the first time ever walked out of the film. You'd think any film with Robert De Niro would be well worth a look....hell no! The plotless, pointlesss drivle that is The Last Shepherd is well worth missing out on at all costs. The wierd kid in it was the only enteratining thing for the 2hrs i wasted of my life, hoping for the end and eventually just leaving.

Fix....

Posted: 23-02-2007 13:32:14
....barenets!!!

Having my first experience at paintballing this weekend. Me and 7 friends are going for a hardcore day of simulated violence followed by some pub time to reflect upon tactics and a game of poker in the evening, very very manly. Can see us getting a little over excited and kicked off the course though!

In contrast i think my Sunday needs to be spent cleaning, my flat needs an overhaul, well it hasnt had one proper for 2 weeks and i do have OCD when it comes to clenlyness.

Am I....

Posted: 21-02-2007 09:30:29
....missing out?

It seems that the majority of the people i know have either a 'myspace' or 'facebook. Why is this so? What exactly do they offer the user? I personally have refused to conform dispite many requests from such friends, you all know who you are.

You wont break me!!!

Touch my food....

Posted: 21-02-2007 09:23:14
....feel my fork.

What exactly is quorn? I dont know why but i dont trust it.

TVR....

Posted: 19-02-2007 12:52:48
....not just a car from Blackpool.

Real cider, brilliant. Upon arriving you get presented with a glass and a menu listing around 50 different cheap, still, strong, cloudy glasses of loopy juice. Among the choices sampled by myself was a little tipple called 'Wycombe Suicider' which litterally hurt your face with evey sip.

Saturday evening was spent in the glorious hot spot of Bristol which i expected to be a sweaty, moody and expensive affair but was plesently suprised. A good nite was had by all in attendance. My reason for such a pleasent evening was mainly a result of the discovery of a drink called a TVR. Im sure others will have heard of this but it was my first experience. They consist of Tequila, Vodka and Red bull, and enable you to dance like a moron well into the early hours but still allow you to want to leave because you've reached your limit. Therefore, your not the last person dancing (badly) when the lights come on.

In the words of a friend...."Mad love to the Bristol massive!"

Ive got a brand new....

Posted: 16-02-2007 15:19:11
....combined harvester.

Going to a 'real' cider festival this evening down Somerset way. Should be full of blokes with beards and cloudy cider. Definately need to keep my wits about me, one pint of that bad-boy juice probably equates to about 4 pints of stella. Should be great though, hot pork and stuffing sandwiches a plenty and as for the band.... The Wurzels....Nuff said.

I gotta say that i was not that "fuzzed" by hot fuzz. I thought it was entertaining but there could have been so much more for the hardcore Pegg/Frost fan. Took a while to get going but the action sequences are great and the cast seem to forfill every school boy action fantasy, from driving fast to shooting loads of guns in the street. edgar Wrights direction is bob on also with loads of sweeny style side car shots during car chases and 360 degree swirling around characters. Overall verdict is good but could have been so much more.

Best Quote: "Have you ever fired a gun up in the air and gone 'ARGH'?"
Best Character: Saxon (the police german shepard who just barks continually)

I recommend you go see it and if you go with no expectations you wont be dissapointed. With the plethora of english acting talent youll be entertained throughout.

Get us....

Posted: 15-02-2007 13:35:22
....back to the station!!

Going to see Hot Fuzz tonight the latest film from the Pegg/Frost duo. They can only be described as legends in my opinion. I have high expectations so it better not dissapoint. Will report back tomorrow.

Feel i should say thankyou to the Dickenson family for having me over for dinner the other night. Laura is a legend, as well as catering for myself and her own clan, four other family friends gorged themselves, total fed 12 people!

Respect.

Im trying...

Posted: 13-02-2007 12:01:10
...to feel the benefit.

Played football last night, I havn't played in a couple of weeks and my legs feel like jelly today. When your a highly tuned athlete such as myself I guess you feel the burn of rigorous excercise when you dont do any for a while. Especially with my level of skill in the beautiful game.

Honest... "the pace and poise of Cristiano Ronaldo." (well id like to think so)

Im actually rubbish but its good for laugh, besides im less of a cheating Portuguese git!

Like the dark side....

Posted: 12-02-2007 10:29:48
....snow covered everything.

What a palarver with the snow. Threats of buses routes being cancelled and it took poor Mark 4 hours to get home. Although it did force me to stay in as i couldnt get my car up the smallest of gradients on friday evening, much to the ammusement of my neighbours. So i stayed in and watched the mighty Shawshank Redemption. I'd never seen it but had heard good things and i must say it lived up to expectations.

Had a great sunday dinner with the family and family friends Tal and Joe. They brought their sprogs Lucy and baby Sam, great kids, you can telll little Sam is gonna be a proper "geezer" too, and he's only 12 weeks.

Tip top people!

The curse of....

Posted: 09-02-2007 13:32:19
....Intelligence.

Did you see that programme last night on channel 4 called child genius? It follows 10 kids with IQ's that are in most cases off the scale at 170! I dont know about you but it seemed a little wasteful to me. Most of the children saw themselves to be on some sort of higher plane, and didnt even interact with mere lamens of their own age, those that wanted to were cut off from others by their parents. Many had no friends or lost them through being moved around. It all seemed like such a sad existance to me. However, my concern was short lived when the proogramme turned its attention to literature loving Micheal. His pompous accent made me resort to shouting at the TV as he continually used adjectives the length of trains to describe the simplest of things, that coupled with his use of "mummy," well lets just say i was more than "exasperated."

On a final note for the week best wishes to Shaun and Peter for tomorrow and the future.

Gambling....

Posted: 07-02-2007 21:47:26
.... its a mugs game.

Weekend started poorly after loosing my buy in money playing poker, although its always a pleasure having a distinctly masculine evening complete with beer and take-away.

With my dislike of professional footballers coupled with the dislike for the stereotypical "Essex bloke" XR3i driving mentality you would think that going to watch Aston Villa vs West Ham would constitute hell for me, this was not the case. I had a great laugh, complete with pie and bovril

Priceless!

My meeting with old friends on Sunday was great and its my great pleasure to say that it seemed like we'd seen each other last week. It had just had a busy week, lots of stories to tell and the senior school banter was alive and well.

Jump Sponsorship Update

Posted: 07-02-2007 21:43:30
Had a little run around for some sponsorship, total at present stands at £78,Was shocked at peoples generosity. I still havnt tucked up the cherries yet either.

Check canopy....

Posted: 02-02-2007 12:15:02
....JUMP!

Ive decided that i should be more charitable so im doing a tamdem skydive for Breakthrough Breast Cancer. Ill be jumping out of a plane strapped to a bloke at 10,000ft, freefalling for 5,000ft then "gliding" in to a safe landing. Well thats what the leaflet says, the word "thump" springs to mind, should be great though. Apparently you reach terminal velocity (the max speed gravity pulls an object to earth, approximately 120mph) sounds great. I do have to sign a form to state who collects my body should anything go wrong, but lets face it humans weren't meant to fly.

There will be a pledge form on our homepage shortly where if you wish you can make a donation, any support will be greatly appreciated.

Playing poker this evening with some very old school friends so should be a laugh, theres money on it and lots of alcohol present so i hope it doesnt get taken too seriously....

....NURSE!!

Theres only one...

Posted: 31-01-2007 14:06:42
....COCA-COLA!!

Full fat coke with the red label, ideally freezing cold in a glass bottle and not the crappy "gone in one sip" 110ml bottles either, the proper 330ml bottles is the only way.

Coke Zero seems utterly pointless, besides what exactly is the difference between zero and diet anyway??

Adding insult....

Posted: 31-01-2007 14:05:31
....to injury!

Right, i know it seems like i rant all the time but i went to the Glee Club for a friends birthday on Saturday. Apart from the crap acts and over priced bar, some of our group were unable to attend and we found that we couldnt sell-on the spare tickets personally, couldnt get our money back and the club couldnt sell them if they find people who wanted them. Bit crappy we thought but eventually accepted it. Waiting for the first act to start and our party of 15 taking up our booked and paid for 20 seats are intructed to move up as they have re-sold our unused seats to another group. Im sure you would agree that is "shocking" So if anyone does actually read this which i have a strong suspicion they dont, but just in case, "fight the power!" and dont get caught out or the best case dont even go!

On a brighter note can we all take a moment to realise the wonder that is the human body. After watching the footage of Richard Hammonds 288mph crash in a jet propelled milk float i was amazed at what resilient creatures we are.
Get me being all deep.

IKEA....

Posted: 26-01-2007 12:23:54
....Swedish for inpolite.

I took a trip to IKEA last nite. I had the intention of spending a good chunk of money on a bed and matress and was shocked at the frankly shocking customer service i recieved. After asking advice on the very dull subject of matress quality i was quite literally grunted at and directed by the seemingly iliterate sales advisor with waving an arm in the direction of a wall with information on it for me to decipher on my own.

What is the world coming to, do these businesses still select staff? If they do, one word IKEA "Training!"

The rants over now and Friday has landed, the weekend is looking just rosey.

What a....

Posted: 22-01-2007 10:21:50
....lovely weekend.

Firstly Rocky Balboa, what a truely great feel good film. It closely mimics the first Rocky film in terms of story but with major some main characters removed such as Rocks recently deceased wife Adrian. The first hour is for the hardcore fan only otherwise like me, youll be chomping at the bit for something to happen and the sound of the first chords of "eye of the tiger" to kick in. Once the training session gets going and the old characters such as Paulie and Duke are back the film picks right up and your behind the "Rocksta" 100% until the end.

BEST QUOTE: "ice is stupid, people who walk on ice are even more stupid!"
BEST CHARACTER: Punchy (Rocky's newly adopted dog)

To follow the film, food with friends until the early hours of Saturday. A great Sunday saying farewell to a friend who passed out from the royal marines on Friday and is away in some of the worlds not so "Hot Spots" for the next 6 months. Be Safe Marc! Also watching my little brother playing rugby, you rule Johnny!

Birthday celebrations are thick and fast ive two more this weekend, must just be this time of year, i didnt realise i had any friends let alone this many.

Roll on Friday, not that i dont love what i do or anything.

I simply refuse.....

Posted: 19-01-2007 11:43:16
....to discuss Jade Goody.

However, i do feel she is a reflection upon the shallowness of the nation that created her. We all find it acceptable to continually give these sort interlectually retarded people celebrity status and adopt them as role models. Why are we then all up in arms when these utterly thick people make statments that are so typical of the sort of moronic actions we would expect them to adopt in the first place.

Anyway....plans for this weekend include, Rocky 6 this evening with friends (i feel it will be a massive let down, will report back on Monday), birthday party on Saturday evening, then Sunday i will be having a "Day of rest"

Marvellous.

The wonders of....

Posted: 18-01-2007 14:49:27
....the World Wide Web.

Last nite through the amazing nature of it i was able to converse and see my friend who is on the other side of the world in Thailand. I realise that this is not exactly a cutting edge concept, but evey now and then i think "its a beautiful thing"

You wouldnt like me when....

Posted: 16-01-2007 11:51:00
....im anrgy!

Got shown this quiz last night, im sure every one is already aware of it but i was well impressed, it doesnt take much i know. I came out as 90% like the HULK, get in!

Try it for yourself http://www.thesuperheroquiz.com

Why......

Posted: 15-01-2007 17:32:23
.....couldnt we get breakfast at 12.03?!

My weekends activities started rather badly, after redezvousing with friends we proceeded to our first port of call where we were told that there was "no way we could get a breakfast" at 12.03 as they had stopped serving them at 12.00, i feel i must share the petty nature of this with you!

However, the initial problems soon faded as the consumption of drinks began, so we gave in and had "brunch" rather than breakfast as defined by the particular pub chain we attended, then to watch the poor performance by Aston Villa against Man United (a loss was expected but they could have done better) then to bowling, then to a casino, dont get any ideas of James bond style black suits or anything this place was pretty poor. The birthday boy did himself proud winning a fair chunk of cash though, then out into the night. It all gets a bit blurry after that.

Sunday consisted of sleeping and then round to the families for a top class sunday lunch consisting of pork, chicken and duck. You know chef/my dad has the skills!

Golf.....

Posted: 12-01-2007 09:12:49
...the best way to spoil a good walk.

Well at least i thought that was the case. Last nite i had my first golfing experience, i say golf it was at a driving range and the only walking involved was from the car. However, i just want to highlight the cathartic value in smashing 100 golf balls with no real poise or skill into the night sky. I recommend for all, particually those who commute to work on public transport.

Only 1 more full day until the weekend and as its my friends birthday today i feel the majority of the time will be spent celebrating his gaining of another year, even though he still has the face of a 15 year old, poor bloke. Will report back on monday.

Peace out!

its nice to go away....

Posted: 09-01-2007 11:19:39
...but its even better to be back home.

Had a wonderful time while i was away and everyone i was introduced to by my pal Joe were absolutley lovely.

Food was fantastic for new year as was my long awaited curry last nite. Therefore, i feel i should make it known now that i have no plans to join the other cherries in this thing they call "dieting" over the January period.

Hola from Barcelona

Posted: 02-01-2007 13:08:03
I'm in Barcelona to celebrate the new year. Hope you all had a good one, I'm back in the office on the 9th. Adios amigo's!!

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