Date: 10th September 2010

.... it's our Matt's Birthday today, although he looks about 14, he's actually 33. I can't help thinking... if the world had more Matt's in it, it would be a better place....... On a different but slight related note,  I would imagine I could break my beer ban today.... as it's his Birthday and all that.... (you have to find an excuse when you are on a beer diet).

Have a good weekend. I'm off to the Theatre tomorrow, not sure what to see though....

Date: 9th September 2010

.... a Clue volume 11 is playing in my car thanks to my mate Phil. I'm the bloke laughing his head off on the way to work. It's a great way to start the day, much better than radio.

My diet is working a bit, I've lost a tiny bit of weight which is good considering I am still enjoying a glass of wine. I haven't had any beer for two weeks!!!!!!

Date: 8th September 2010

....meeting, after meeting.... that's all I seem to be doing today... it's a bit chicken oriental.....

Date: 7th September 2010

.... the schools are back in full swing by the standard of driving into Birmingham between 0800 and 0830.  It really is shocking, people are in such a rush to get no-where and they all forget about braking distance.

HM's birthday evening was very relaxed, everyone knackered after the first day back properly. We sat down with a glass of shampoo and watched a bit of telly....nice.

Date: 6th September 2010

..... banned in my house until November. I was gob smacked yesterday to listen to an advert on the radio selling Christmas lunch. It really should be illegal... what's the matter with these people? Is it me?

Big day today, school starts proper and it's HM's birthday. It'll be wierd for her as today will be the first day she's been in the house alone for many months because effectlively, the kids who were taking exams this year, finished school in May. Peace and quiet, how lovely.

Date: 2nd September 2010

..... The Expendables. It's the funniest film ever made, trouble is, I can't work out if it was meant to be funny. Violent eye candy......... if there is such a thing....... I've never seen so much dreadful plastic surgery in one movie...... I loved every second of it, great fun.

There's talk that the PCB will not suspend the three crooks unless charges are made. Somebody charge them then........ Is it me?

Date: 1st September 2010

....heads....the summer is over and I think I saw the first frost of the Autumn this morning. It was much colder and had that winter kind of feeling. I happen to like all the seasons, i actually like it when the clocks go back.... I like all the stews and comfort food that comes with it.

Talking of food, I am on the wagon and on a no eating junk regime. I have gotten so fat over the summer, my belly has started entering rooms before the rest of me gets there. Time to deal with it.

Date: 31st August 2010

... (and to be honest, the only way they will be able to get out of this one is if the tape was made after the test match).... they players should be banned for life.... it involves the captain for goodness sake..... Pakistan, as a team, should be banned from international cricket for the next five years. It's just not cricket.

Come the revolution, the players would be tied to lamposts so that the paying public could throw rotten tomatoes at them...... disgraceful.

Date: 20th August 2010

..... last night. I had a craving for fish and chips, I was very hungry..... got to the shop and just as I went to order, I lost complete control of my mouth and said, "a chicken kebab please." I haven't had a kebab from a chippy since about 1989. It was lovely, very fresh and clean... when  I took it home, everyone gave me disaproving looks.....

Really looking forward to tonight, we have ten officers coming to stay, Tom is bringing ten guys from his flight for a night of brummie madness. We'll feed em and send em where the brummie beer and ladies are.... they'll arrive back in the morning ready for a full english.... then head straight off back to the barracks.... can't wait.

I have a weeks solitude planned for next week. Just me, HM and the dog in our favourite cottage in Wales. Johnny Rotten is going to canoe down the Ardeche with his school, the big boy will be back at Cranwell whilst HM Junior and Mr A destroy our home. It's just like the bloody Waltons in our 'ouse.

See you in a week.

Date: 19th August 2010

.... in my bathroom has been up to the usual standard my hair deserves.... turns out it's conditioner, I've been complaining it hasn't been creating many suds...... oh to be a bloke....

A level results today for HM Junior (first year), I'm expecting a call any minute, either way, she's so laid back she won't show any emotion. I like that and to be honest, I'm not too worried either.

Date: 17th August 2010

.... are back. I'm playing tennis with my buddy Phil tonight who is now in retirement. He has an arm injury but we are both so fat we have decided it's worth the pain. I'm looking forward to seeing my mate and laughing for about an hour non stop.

Date: 16th August 2010

....BT for 30 years. I've always paid my bill when the red one arrives..... have done for 30 years... I don't even check the bill to be honest, I just pay it. This weekend I had a few moments and actually glanced through my bill. I had incurred a "late penalty" charge and a "processing fee" charge. These two added up to £11. What on earth could they be for?I must call them to find out...having then spent 20 minutes on hold, a very nice Indian chap based in a Delhi call centre informed me that, if you don't now pay your bill within 10 days, you'll get the late charge applied and, if you pay by cheque, you'll get the £4 processing fee charged. If they have 20 million customers doing what I have done, that's over £100,000,000 per quarter in "fees"..... they never told me, or pointed it out. I feel absolutely ripped off. Time to move I think.

Date: 13th August 2010

..... Bloodstock for four days. It's a heavy metal festival in Derbyshire. I expect he's lying in a pool of vomit as I write this. I read him the riot act before he left but I think he went deaf as I was explaining how not to die through abuse. His sister (HM Junior) cleaned his room when he left yesterday and found many interesting items (he's a teenager) amongst which, one was an empty 1 litre bottle of cheap Vodka tucked away at the back of his wardrobe, the other was a petrified sandwich which must be six months old. HM had always companined his room smelt, I just told her it was because he was a young male, little did I know it was a rotting ham bap. I've left the two items (the bap is in two sealed plastic bags) in his bed for discussion when he comes home..... if he survives.....

This weekend I mainly be... enjoying time with HM Junior and Johnny Rotten and intermitent time with OIT (Officer in Training) Allen.

Date: 12th August 2010

....Mr Capello is a good England coach or a rubbish one, it should make no difference if you are called up by the England manager to play. I only learned yesterday of the Asley Cole incident from Sunday where, stupid Cole, refused to shake the hand of the England manager. Now, is it me, no really, is it me? He should not be allowed to play for England again, simple. The manager is the manager period. I don't understand how footballers work, I know they're supposed to be a bit thick but honestly......... I blame the public ultimately..... 72,000 turned up at Wembley last night. Why?

Date: 11th August 2010

..... people are unemployed in this country. That doesn't take into account people on disability benefit which, apparetly, is a greater number. I also saw another statistic that is connected to what we do. For every 100 job vacancies in media, there are 20,000 people wanting to get into it. This recovery is going to take a few years yet my friends.

Date: 10th August 2010

.... great. The weather was mostly good and the company was exceptional. I had a blast but I have to say, doing the four days is a bit of a marathon, thank goodness it didn't last the extra day!

Back to work, getting stuck in. Richard's birthday today, happy birthday Rich.

Date: 5th August 2010

.... weather seems to be on its way to spoil the first day of the Test. It's always the same at Edgbaston, it seems to rain every single time there's a Test. How boring.

I'll be back on Tuesday, happy with the England win I'm sure.

Date: 4th August 2010

Date: 3rd August 2010

..... the banks, who created the financial situation we, and the rest of Europe find themselve in, are back in profit. So much so that they plan to spend £1,300,000,000 on bonus's for the very people who cocked up in the first place.  Half term results suggest the banks made £8,000,000,000 in the last six months. Meanwhile, here we are as employers, busting our ass's to collect increased taxes on behalf of the government without any help from of the banks. I heard a "representative" of the banks on the radio yesterday saying they are lending to small business. Funny that, I heard the Governor of the Bank of England, Vince Cable and the Chancellor say the opposite. The banks are lying.

Pass me the valium someone.

Date: 2nd August 2010

...different vibe in Spain since the last time I went. The recession has devestated businesses that thrive on the tourist. The tourist isn't there. The beaches were empty by comparison to just last year. That does suit me of course because I like having fewer people around but I do feel for the businessmen and women who are being effected.

England thrashed Pakistan over the last four days and I can't wait to go to the next Test starting this Friday at Edgbaston. It really is great being me.

Date: 20th July 2010

....... it's my last blog for a while as I head off for some sun and serious contemplation. I've got lots to think about and plan, future expansion of Clevercherry.com, goals for Birminghambition, targets for SUCCEAD, England v Pakistand, my Big Boy's passing out parade,  my 50th Birthday celebrations (or lack of them), The Ashes 2010/11.... can I afford to go to Australia?.... I'll sort this all out whilst lying on the beach having my feet messed with by a little chinese woman called Lily. I'm looking forward to the challenge.

On a different but slightly amusing note, HM Junior's boyfriend is a model, his name is Tom. Very pretty he is too, nice hair and everything,  but I've never met him because he lives in London, only seen the pictures. However, yesterday I saw him stark bollock naked on an MTV advert that is currently running. It's not the best way to be introduced to the first man who has captured your daughter's heart. I've recorded the advert and will ensure all the men in the family watch it....... a few times. Looking forward to meeting him with his clothes on.

Right, I'm off. This next few weeks I mainly be: sunbathing, thinking, planning, scheming, resting.  Adios amigo's.

Date: 19th July 2010

...came home on Saturday and the gaggle of us had a fun night. Lots of laughter, beer and food.... perfect. He's now gone to Alabama to do some RAF stuff. He flew on a military commissioned plane.... how exciting.

We're getting ready for our summer holidays, me HM Mr A and Johnny Rotten. HM Junior is staying at home......as she would say....OMG!

Date: 16th July 2010

.... has made my week feel much shorter. It's gone very quickly and here I am Friday morning writing the last blog of the week.

Mandelson was on the TV last night squirming his way through a grilling about his memoirs, he made me want to vomit. I couldn't watch it, well I could, but I'd have had to smash up the TV. He reminds me of a garden slug.

This weekend I mainly be: picking my Big Boy up from the airport, test driving a new car for HM and getting ready for my summer holidays which begin the middle of next week.

Date: 15th July 2010

..... cricket last night 20/20 cricket. I've never been to a live one before it was brilliant. Warwickshire won in the last over, really exciting. On the way home we treated Johnny Rotten and his mate Chris to a TGI Fridays. Haven't been in since 1989. Good to see it's still consistent, dirty tables, shite food and fake service....... it's brilliant.

Date: 14th July 2010

....back and it makes me laugh. I love it.

I picked up The Times yesterday (HM likes it) and read a portion of the Mandelson serialisation of his new memoirs. It's disgusting. I'm rapidly losing faith in all politicians, what a jerk and a real creep. He's a disgrace. How can these men be so rude about their work colleagues and how can they say one thing and mean another, that's lying where I come from.

France have voted (1st stage) to ban the Veil..... hilarious.

Date: 13th July 2010

.... the cricket yesterday, it was great. I took HM and Johnny Rotten and we had a lovely time.  England were very good, with three great innings, it was very enjoyable, I recommend it. I also managed to get my tickets for the Test this year, that will be great as the Pakistan audience can be really loud and the turn out was great. The Bangladesh bunch were great yesterday too, the bloke in front of me had a giant banana..... I couldn't work out why though.... maybe it was just to get himself on the telly.

Date: 9th July 2010

.... of Iran. Her crime is that she allegedly committed adultery. Her sentence: stoning to death. Yes you heard me, stoning to death.  That means, she gets put into the ground with her head exposed, and then some Mohammed loving Muslim men throw bricks at her head until she is dead. How Godly is that? Religion itself is the devil........ well anyway, after an international outcry, the Iranian Governement has confirmed she won't be stoned to death, trouble is, they haven't said what they are replacing it with. It's disgusting, we should all be ashamed of the human race.

Went to the pub with my mate last night and HM Junior dropped me off, and......... picked me up....woohoo..... how the table has turned........

This weekend I mainly be: taxi, Simpsons, world cup final, in that order.

Date: 8th July 2010

.... a right old ponce. Listen, I have Conservative blood but, from the first minute I saw this bloke a few years ago, I hoped and prayed he'd never get to Minister level, and there he is, cocking it up big style. Imagine the scenario for the nine schools in the Midlands who are about to have their buildings fixed (probably only to the level of a thrid world country) only to find the message from the Minister saying "go ahead" actually should have read "your project is cancelled"...... idiot.

Whilst I'm at it, and I'm asking again, what are the banks doing? Spain and Portugal are really in trouble becuase of borrowing too much.... where are the banks then to help them get out of trouble?? eh?? eh??

Spain won, my Spainish friends are overjoyed, I'm delighted for them.

Date: 7th July 2010

..... Holland. I love the national pride they all have, apparently, whenever the national team play, the citizens wear or use something orange. I love all that, bring it on. How great to have your team in the final, especially if you've never been there before.

I have many Spanish friends and a few German friends now too but as I consider myself half Spanish, I will be supporting Spain tonight. If they get their act together they will beat Germany who have been playing fabulous football. It's going to be a great contest, I'm looking forward to it.

In a cruel twist of irony, the three people who don't care for football, Shaun, Gabriella and Georgia, have the three teams in the company sweepstake. Bloody marvellous.

Date: 6th July 2010

.... announce cut back after cut back, tax increase after tax increase, what is happening to the bankers that caused this mess in the first place. Has everyone forgot it was the banking community that stuffed the economy? I don't hear a word about the bnaks in the papers or on TV anymore..... funny that.....

Date: 5th July 2010

.... is dull. I liked being a taxi.

Had a good weekend with all the family together. My big boy came home for the weekend which is always a treat. Lots of banter and food was enjoyed.

Germany looked fantastic on Saturday as they smashed Argentina. It will be a tall order for Spain to beat them this week, I'm looking forward to that match for sure.

HM is giving a speech today at the hospital, they have asked her to comment on the level of service she has received over the last 9 years. We spent a few hours yesterday writing down her experiences. Although the NHS seems to get a right ole slagging, our experience contradicts that. She now even gets her drugs infused at home on a new Homecare scheme. A qualified cancer nurse comes to the house every three weeks for a morning and pumps the drugs into HM. It's much better than having to go to the cancer centre. Brilliant service, lets hope it's is not cut!

Date: 2nd July 2010

..... when your second child passes their driving test. HM Junior passed her test yesterday, how fantastic is that. It brings with it good things and bad. Good: I will be relieved of a few taxi services at weekends (starting tomorrow) Bad: I may not see much of her from now on. Despite the latter, I'm delighted for her as I can remember how liberating it was to have a car and have the ability to do and go, whatever and wherever, you want. She drove to school today, I remember doing that myself....

This weekend I mainly be: Not a taxi service. I might do a bit of cooking.

Date: 1st July 2010

.... I always think of things I want to put in my blog. The trouble is, being so old, when I come to write it, I can't remember a bloody thing. Today for instance, I wanted to rant about something that would have made you laugh, that much I know, but I can't, for the life of me remember what it is. Anyway, good luck to Murray, it's a tough ask for him to beat Nadal. I saw both play last week and Nadal looked fantastic....

I like my new iPhone. The screen is so much better, not sure about the shape but all in all it is an improvement..... battery life in particular.

Date: 30th June 2010

...... of the England footy team in their hotel after the match on Sunday. It's in The Sun today and it's perfect. Aaron Lennon is actually smoking a cuban cigar.... he's the guy with the tram lines on his left eye brow, you know, like Shane from Boyzone..... what a jerk he is. Can you imagine any olympic athelete smoking a cigar? let alone after they had waited four years to fail.... can you imagine Federer having a cigar and a beer having just lost Wimbledon.... hello?

Date: 29th June 2010

... that was. ACDC were fabulous although a lttle old. Angus certainly can't move as well as he used to. Malcolm was the engine as usual and powered his way through the set. I enjoyed it very much. I think the kids just thought they were a bunch of old blokes and couldn't quite fathom the hero worship of the 65,000 people who had come to see them. Anyway, my mission has been accomplished, my kids have seen ACDC. I doubt if there will be another tour and even if there is, they will be another few years older ..... it's time to stop.

Seville is a beautiful place, the history is shocking and the buildings are wonderful. The main cathedral is absolutely gob smackingly awesome and if you see it, I promise it will make your jaw drop.

England were a sham. I've chopped down my flagpole and set fire to the flag.

Date: 25th June 2010

..... 2130 last night and woke up at 2330 thinking it was the morning and time to get up. Can you imagine the joy when I realised I'd got another 7 hours of sleep in front of me. Wehey!!

The weekend draws closer and I'm so looking forward to seeing my favourite band of all time again. The weather is going to be great although in Seville it's currently over 100 degrees. I'm looking forward to the England match too. You know, we can beat Germany and I think the momentum is with us.

See you next Tuesday, this weekend I mainly be: rockin.

Date: 24th June 2010

.... dilema. At the weekend, I'm taking my family for a rock n roll weekend in Seville. We are going to watch the mighty ACDC play the penultimate gig of their world tour. But, the mightly English play The Hun on Sunday so, I have got to try and find somewhere in the middle of Spain to watch it..... could be tricky.

Despite the hair loss, it's great being me (my new iPhone 4 arrived today. wehey!!!).....

Date: 23rd June 2010

.... Wimbledon yesterday. It's always impressive and as I've said before, it's fully of pretty people with impeccable manners. If you were a foreigner, visiting this country, and only went to Wimbledon, you'd think England was the greatest place on earth. Even the weather was amazing.

I am looking forward to the football, we are all going down the pub, any excuse I suppose.

Date: 21st June 2010

... to having four children it would seem, it mainly becomes apparent on Fathers Day. Although, for most of the day I only had 25% of my kids with me, I had a fabulous day. Very chilled, beautiful weather and great banter with those around me. A lovely 2 mile walk with Johnny Rotten, a few beers and a bit of spice. Lovely cards with wonderful messages and more ACDC Cd's for my collection. Talking of ACDC, I'm taking the fanily on a pilgrimage to Seville this coming weekend to see the masters in action as they conclude their mamouth world tour. Exams are over so we are all flying out Saturday morning for 48 hours of pure rock  roll, I might even teach the kids how to trash the hotel room. Proper education....

I told you England were going to put on the worst display in 20 years didn't I? Suffice to say, my flag is flying at half mast as we wave goodbye to passion, honesty, dignity, self respect and style. We welcome greed, self pity, arrogance, me culture and spinelessness (I made that word up but you know what I mean).

I'm off to Wimbledon tomorrow to watch a man from Scotland try and do what the English seem to be incapable of..........i.e. win.

Apart from all that, it's great being me don't you think?

Date: 18th June 2010

... the mighty England gives the country a fine performance and considerable win to set everyone up for a lovely weekend. HM is off to some gardening convention which of course, I won't be going to, instead, I'll be taxiing and getting the ingredients together for a fine meal when HM and her mates turn up after walking around a big field for hours looking at twigs.

It's Fathers day on Sunday. It'll be the first ever without my big boy who is in a ditch somewhere in England. He's got a serious 2 weeks of no contact as they teach him how to reclaim an airport without getting shot. It's a full on job, chinooks and everything, it, no doubt, will be an amazing experience. He gets to live in the ditch, for the two weeks apparently, knowing my son, it'll be the most tidy ditch in the country. Good luck son, I'll raise a glass to you on Sunday.

Enjoy the weekend everyone, we will win tonight. C'mon Engerland.

Date: 17th June 2010

... wonderful. We had a barbeque featuring Jerk Chicken and lovely lamb chops, very nice indeed.

Really looking forward to Friday nights match, going to watch it with family at home. If we lose I will set fire to my flagpole.

Date: 16th June 2010

.... about 1600 yesterday due to a migraine and I got up at 0645 this morning. I didn't sleep all that time but am giulty of being horizontal for the 15 hours. I feel much better for it. It's the only way to deal with migraine, lots of drugs and water and absolute rest.

Brazil were average.

Date: 15th June 2010

....and I'll say it again. Litter louts shout be shot. I watched a man, in the car in front of me, put aftershave (pacoroban) on his face then throw the bottle out of the window onto the central reservation. We were in a traffic jam at the time and I seriously considered picking up the bottle and throwing it through his windowscreen but I'd got my youngest with me.... it was shocking.

Italy were average I thought.

Date: 14th June 2010

....ok. Drawing with USA is a good thing, it'll manage expectations and help everyone focus. Green just made a mistake, so did every single player in that match but his, unfortunately, created a goal. The only thing I would be concerned about is............. Germany. Did you see them yesterday.... the best yet by far.

Got the plasterers at home today..... magic, dust everywhere again, I might not go home.

Date: 11th June 2010

.... big boy last night. He's doing remarkably well and today he's being gassed. He gets put into a room and is asked to perform tasks whilst the room is filled with gas. They aren't so nasty these RAF types, the guys get to do the tasks with gas masks first, it's only half way through that they then tell them to remove the masks and suits. For some reason, he was looking forward to it.... he's also been selected to represent his Flight (that's what his team of fellow Officers in training are called) on a trip to America. He'll get his first taste of being around civvies in full uniform, I imagine that will be a fantastic buzz.... 

My flagpole is up, I haven't had the Police around yet telling me I need planning permission, the bunting is up but, I've been thinking.... my house is white, I could put two red flashes up and across the whole of the front....mmmm

This weekend, I mainly be..... WATCHING THE WORLD CUP, C'MON......

Date: 10th June 2010

.... a very simple fresh pasta dish. Tomatoes, sun dried tomatoes, pine nuts, pancetta , fresh basil and grated parmesan cheese. It was nice and made a pleasant change.

My flag pole didn't quite make it yesterday, they had trouble digging out the footing due to the rain but, hopefully, by the time I get home it'll be ready. Talking of flags, I think it's time to decorate the office. Barrie is alive and will make an appearance........

Date: 9th June 2010

.... at 1000 last night. It was great, I slept until the alarm went off at 0650....

I watched Spring Watch last night, Katie Humble is on drugs or she's having an affair with that co-presenter bloke..... she's gone all childish, yuk.

Date: 8th June 2010

.... last night with HM, HM Junior and Mr A. Johnny Rotten has gone camping and the big boy is in a ditch somewhere on a mission. HM Junior doesn't say much, she's a bit cool and reserved but last night she said quite a bit. I have to say, I was impressed with her maturity , she talked a lot of sense with her views on philosophy and phsycology.  I reckon she would make a good relationship advisor....... Mr A was just bored. All in all it was a lovely evening, prompted by the chaos British Gas have caused trying to fix our central heating.... holes in walls and stuff... plastering required, new decoration etc... HM is not happy....

Date: 7th June 2010

.... days to go until the World Cup. My 60ft flag pole has been inserted into my front lawn. The flag of St George will be raised on Friday morning. I'm thinking of having a flag raising ceremony every morning, I might get the kids to stand in a line and salute it......

England cricketers had a great weekend. I know the opposition wasn't tip top but our bowlers still bowled superbly, I reckon any side would have had trouble yesterday facing Anderson et al.

Date: 4th June 2010

... last night when I overheard the young lady on the next table ask, "what's in the mushroom rice" she also asked "do you have toilets here" and "do you have any soya sauce" and the classic "I'd like egg fried rice" ... I say classic because it was an Indian restaurant. I think she'd gone to the wrong one. She was lovely though, very polite and sincere.

It's the weekend again, this weekend I mainly be: lying down.

Date: 3rd June 2010

.... setting off for work yesterday as normal, maybe a small arguement over something petty as he or she left, then ten minutes later, through simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time, they were killed by a phsycopath with a shotgun. There are families feeling that pain right now...... shocking, absolutely shocking.

Date: 2nd June 2010

.... why Heskey has been picked as one of four strikers to represent our country in the world cup. I just don't get it..... he just falls over whenever he gets anywhere near the ball, he's been dropped by his club because he's rubbish, and he's only scored 8 goals in the last year. Is it me?

I love the world cup I do.

Date: 28th May 2010

.... correct ratio of meat to spahetti in the classic dish, spaghetti bolognese? Having worked a 10 hour, stressful day, I returned home to put together a spag bol. Mr Adolescent refused to eat half of his meal due to the incorrect ratio. He told me he prefers 12.5% meat to 87.5% pasta. Being in the zero tolerance frame of mind that I find myself in, I rammed the remaining food into his face and general head area and suggested he head off to the shower for the correct ratio of water and soap to clean off his spag bol head. My new policy is, eat it or wear it, your choice.

This weekend I mainly be: shouting.

Date: 27th May 2010

.... in a foul mood at the moment. I think I'm feeling it for my kids who are all, without exception, taking exams at the moment. I have zero tolerance in all departments.... or could it be just that I'm getting on a bit....

iPad day tomorrow, I think we should have one.

Date: 25th May 2010

.... football, despite the media slagging it off this morning. It's so English to knock the English (there must be a word to describe that). For me, I had a sense that the world cup was around the corner. I love the world cup (only second to the Ashes) so I am looking forward to a few weeks of patriotism. I also get the sense the flag of St George is beginning to be used without embarrassement or fear of racial accusations. I reckon there'll be a lot of flag flying come June, we for one are ready, we have about 30 flags and hundreds of metres of bunting.....

Date: 24th May 2010

...yesterday, our gate was changed at the last minute. After then walking to the other side of Malaga airport we all got on a cpach to take us to the plane. We were now about 20 minutes late. We all got on, the doors were closed, we were then told we couldn't move for at least an hour. The child next to me started to scream. This was all tolerable until......... they put an episode of GLEE on the airplanes TV system, at proper volume too. I wanted to die, actually not only die, I wanted to be in pain.... I quickly obtained a blinding headache..... hell.

Date: 18th May 2010

...I come....not. I am off to Seville tomorrow on business but we will be locked inside a windowless room for two days whilst the temperature outside will be over 30 degrees. That is of course, assuming the ash cloud hasn't grounded our flight...... I will be back next Monday, see you then. Happy Birthday to Ed for Thursday.

Date: 17th May 2010

..... did you watch it? It was fabulous. We hammered the Aussies which, whilst rare, it's always amazing. I would have so loved to be in Barbados to watch it, the weather looked great and the atmosphere was electric.

Our weekend was taken up with helping out at the Cure Leukaemia run in Sutton Park. It was a great success, thanks to all involved and it's truly inspiring to be part of something  that involves giving rather than taking. Sincere thanks to all of you who gave up your weekend.

Date: 14th May 2010

.... a marshall at the Cure Leukaemia fun run in Sutton Park. Yes, I'll be the bloke in the high res top talking into a walkie talkie for no apparent reason.  A few thousand have signed up to run, respect to everyone of you, it'll raise a few bob for the charity, thank you.

Good luck to the England cricket 20/20 team. We're in the final.... fantastic.

Date: 13th May 2010

.....but not in one go. I decided that I'd run a mile a day or so through the month of May. I started on May 2nd and had last Sunday off so I've completed 11 miles as of this morning. I run first thing in the morning whilst HM sorts my special breakfast. To compliment my new regime I'm on the GI eating plan, which, I have to say, is not very different from the way I used to eat except, no white bread, no crisps or such or chocolate and I have stopped drinking alcohol (except for a bottle of shampoo on Saturdays). Do I feel better.... no. Have I lost loads of weight.....no. Am I going to give up........no.

Date: 12th May 2010

....CC... not Clevercherry.com but Cameron and Clegg. I hope they actually do something and not just pontificate. I'm going to be optimistic and say they will be a force for good. Cable is involved in bashing the banks, that can't be a bad thing, but, we have a man who has never had a job in charge of the country's finance...... that's pretty much like what your bank manager does... a bloke who's never had a job, with zero experienec of the real world,  making judgements about how you run your business..... quite scary. Good luck to the lot of them. I hope Mr Brown gets a few good nights kip too now he's out of the frying pan.

I went to see Colin Dunne last night, he's bloody good, even if he's getting on a bit now.

Date: 11th May 2010

.... just a few days ago, Cameron, Clegg and Brown where calling each other names and puring scorn on whatever they stood for as individuals and as party leaders. Now they are all swinging nicely....... hello.......nurse.........taxi!

Date: 10th May 2010

.... nuts. Litter is at the top of my list at the moment. I was driving through sunny Walsall yesterday when I was overtaken by a young chap in a suped up Astra. Not really suped in the traditional sense, just a load of crap plastic body altering parts and a fat exhaust manifold to make it sound like it goes faster than it does. He overtook me on the left (yes the left) which was pretty unusual because this was not a dual carriageway. His was playing loudly Radio Ambur, an Urdu music station (I know because I also have that {amongst others including Raj FM} station tuned in my car, it's quite good). Anyway, it didn't bother me that this young chap was driving like a moron in a 30 mph zone but what happened next made me wish I had a gun. He wound down his passenger window and threw out an unfinished can of Red Bull so that it landed on the pavement in front of two older people. The can was probably travelling at 40mph.

I wanted to stop his car and thump him. Come the revolution, this sort of selfish, thick, beahviour will get you in deep, deep trouble. Death by Red Bull stoning I think. I'm getting angry reliving it in my head.

My weekend meal was nothing short of amazing. Auntie Liz was ill so we took HM Junior and Mr Adolescent. It was magical, a moment was savoured and had.

Date: 7th May 2010

.... has the power to call all the parties in and tell them to form a coalition government.  That'd be fun wouldn't it.

I really feel for the many (it would appear) that didn't get to vote because of the inneficiency of polling stations. How frustrating would that be? My station had a huge queue, longer than I've ever seen, I'd've be livid if they closed the doors after waiting for an hour or so to get in.

This weekend we have auntie Liz coming down from Harrogate. Liz is HM's best friend and they are quite funny when they get together. They talk at the same time and over each other. They can hold two seperate conversations at the same time. .... It's quite bizarre.

This weekend I mainly be: George (from George and Mildred).

Date: 6th May 2010

...day you can make a difference apparently. I doubt it. Good luck everyone.

Date: 4th May 2010

.... time to listen to some music this weekend. I listened to some classic old tunes using earphones. It's amazing what you hear when the sound is in your head. I listened to Don't Give Up by Peter Gabriel featuring Kate Bush. There's loads of stuff on thre that you don't hear when it's on speakers. Aja by Steely Dan too, same thing, tons of information not heard unless it's in your head. Try it.

I started running too this weekend and have cut out all alcohol. My legs are killing me and I fancy a pint.

Date: 30th April 2010

.... debate last night but the news items around it, and this morning, was quite stupid and annoying. It just repeated the same thing over and over againa and why oh why did Midlands Today run the show from underneath the security helicopter? Poor old Suzanne Verdi, she was struggling to be heard...

I'm fat and the time has come to deal with it. May the 1st tomorrow, new personal regime kicks in. For the month of May I mainly be giving up everything I love (except curry). I'm so fat I'm actually looking forward to it, I'm fed up with carrying around a belly the size of Wales.

This weekend I mainly be: buying some running shoes, drinking water and sulking.

Date: 29th April 2010

.... for  nano second I felt sorry for you. What you need to know Mr Brown is that the lady in Rochdale isn't a bigot. She merely asked you a question that could have been asked by the vast majority of the country. You are not a bigot if you dare ask a question related to immigration. The political elite of this country have for too long brushed aside issues that actually matter and that people are genuinely concerned about. Not only are you fighting for your own political life Mr Brown, you might, just might, be fighting for the future of your party. The Labour party has survived throughout the years from massive support from industry and the working classes... you should have thought of that when you ripped the heart out of this nation by forcing manufacturers to close and allowing the banks to rip everyone off. Foot, shot, yourself, proper, and good are words that spring to mind. Idiots, creeps, freaks....... finally, can you now see just how smarmy and arrogant Mandleson is?

Come the revolution, bankers and politicians will be forced to spend the rest of their life at Centre Parks somewhere in Nottingham. Businessmen will run the country.

Date: 28th April 2010

... to meet a man who had leukaemia and had organised a fundraising event with his choir (Icknield Male Voice Choir). This lovely chap Stan lost his battle in March. His request was that instead of flowers, his  friends were to donate to Cure Leukaemia and I was to collect the cheque at a choir practice which, I did, last night. They had raised a lot of money for us ( and extra on top thanks to Stewart), but I was overwhelmed by the warmth felt in the room.  A lovely bunch of people and a most lovely widow Jan, who managed to say a few words to the gentlemen in the choir. It was lovely, just lovely, and on top of it all I got to listen to the guys sing.... quite special.

Date: 27th April 2010

.......Devon before. Everyone told me how lovely it was going to be and you know what, they were all right. The outstanding feature however, wasn't the beautiful countryside, or the spectacular castle we stayed in, no, it was simply that everyone we came across was , without exception, extremely polite. It must be something in the air.

Coming back to work today is a little bit strange, we have so many staff now, I no longer have my own desk. I'm typing this on my new trendy MacBook Air (thanks to Shaun) sitting in someone seat until they turn up. I'm a hot desking kind of chap from now on.

Date: 23rd April 2010

it's Thursday afternoon and I haven't yet watched the live TV debate between the main men. Therefore it would be innapropriate of me to comment but I'm going to guess it was even stevens this time. Was it?

I'm on my way to Devon to have a few days off with HM. We're staying in a mate's spare castle (I'm not joking), but more to the point, we're leaving the young woman HM Junior in charge at home. It'll go one of two ways (the housekeeping that is).

See you Tuesday.

 

Date: 22nd April 2010

.... who has never had a job or ever run his own business to run the country's finances? If the Conservatives win, that's exactly what we will have done. George Osbourne has never had a job other than be a politician.

Do you have to be a midget to work on BBC Breakfast now?

Jamie Oliver sometimes, get's on my nerves but, his show last night from Andalucia was absolutely wonderful, nice one Jamie, lots of respect.

Date: 20th April 2010

.... I hadn't had a curry for 8 days and hadn't been to my favourite restaurant for 12 days. That kicked in good and proper last night when there was no option but to visit the Maharaja. Blimey it was good, I feel better now.

Date: 19th April 2010

.... I have frogs spawn. The Doyle family gave me a pint of it on Saturday and I have put it in the best place in our pond. I know it's sad, but, I love frogs, really love them, I've already named each and every individual spawn and I'm looking forward to lots of beautiful frog children.

Date: 15th April 2010

... fancied a pint. It had been a full on day and I asked HM if she fancied coming out for a sit down and a beer. We went to an old pub, a real pub, proper working class place with old men in it. The domino team had a match on and we realised we were in someones seat. When I used to go to the sports and social club on a Saturday with my mum and dad everyone had their own seat. This was just the same but 40 years on. Fortunately for us, the other domino team didn't show up so we were allowed to stay where we were but, as the pub had expected an opposing team, they had laid on a sandwich spread. We were asked time and time again if we wanted anything and it really took me back to my youth when the sense of community was really strong. We had a lovely night, surrounded by ordinary working (or not working) good folk. It was totally refreshing, English folk at their best I feel.

Date: 14th April 2010

... here at the moment, we are inundated with work and everyone has got their heads down. It's fantastic and our new Santa's helper Matthew has settled in quickly. The only problem we have is that we are running out of room.

Mark and Sadie kindly took me and HM to see Dara O'Briain last night. I never thought he was funny until yesterday. He's hilarious and incredibly quick witted, thanks to Mark and Sadie for a great evening.

Date: 12th April 2010

.... because this weekend I had some dear friends from India pop round. They happened to have a top quality chef with them and they came and created lunch for us. It was stunning, pure genius, I've deciede I can't cook curry. His basic masala sauce was absolutely amazing and the transformation of the onions and tomatoe into the sauce was inspirational to watch.  There was a moment when the ingredients all became one.  Chef had a bundle of magic ingredients too, a mixture of raw spices, the knowledge of what to put where and when was nothing short of majestic.  In the space of 3 hours he created a feast for 10 of us, perfectly balanced, beautiful authentic north Indian cuisine. I thought I'd died and gone to heaven (cliche but true).  Massive thanks to my friends.

Tonight I mainly be: eating the leftovers.

Date: 9th April 2010

.... only been at work a couple of days and it's the weekend already. That's probably because I've only been here a couple of days, funny that.

HM has been discharged so my workload at home will diminish although, to be fair, she's been getting more mobile very quickly over the last week. She can now drive so that'll change things.

This weekend I mainly be: sitting in the garden,  if the sun shines.

Date: 8th April 2010

... election and it's already boring the pants off me. Why don't we just let them have a fight, stick all the party leaders in a boxing ring at the same time... what a laugh that would be.

What's the lead singer from Coldplay doing on Masterchef?

Date: 7th April 2010

...is upon us. May the best lying creep win.

That was the fastest Easter known to man. It was 5 days long for me and yet, I can't remember having 30 minutes to sit down. I went to bed every night absolutely knackered. My kids have got 3 weeks off!